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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Inquiring minds want to know........

are you an inquiring mind?

So, did I get a fill at my 3 year Lapband appointment yesterday?
Yes, after much debate with the very (very very) cute new technician.....I lifted my shirt,unzipped my pants and told him to stick it to me....
He was good with the needle......I didn't feel a thing.
And, he had a BIG ONE!

Okay. Okay. Enough of my gutter talk.....

The question I always get--from blog readers and the everyday curious folks--is this:
When will I stop getting/needing fills?

I have no idea.
I mean--I have no idea if I will be laying on the table when I'm 75 telling another cute technician to stick it to me.
But, what I do know is this---I am the product of a life of dieting.
So, when someone asks me if I want to lose anymore weight and if that person has the power to help me lose the weight--the only answer I know is.....yes.
Sure, I want to lose 5 pounds. Who doesn't?
When in reality, the issue do I make it so that I don't gain 5 pounds?
How do I maintain this weight loss?
I'm still getting the hang of it. This maintenance thing.
Even though I'm thrilled beyond words that I am where I am, there's always that nagging little feeling that this is all very temporary......
Someday I won't fit into my much smaller sizes.
That's my fear. Rational? Irrational? I have no idea.
But, I own it.
It's a mind game. I know it. You know it. We all know it.
Yet, those mind mind games make me play the defense game.....guarding against the evil weight gain.
And, if filling my Lapband just a smidge will do that then that's what I want!
That's how I want to roll.
Does that make sense?
Is that the right path?
Hell, I have no idea.
So, I got a fill.
A .2 fill.
Just a tad.

Hello mushy food.


Nikki P said...

Thank you for giving me an insight into how I may feel when I reach goal. I'm already fearful that this is just another temporary diet fad, just like the hundreds of fad diets that came before this.
I love your posts. They are humorous but also full of really great information.
Thanks again :)

Christine said...

I have wondered if I'm always going to in to the doctor for a fill when I'm 70, too! I'm curious to see how your journey progresses. One of the things I love the MOST about the band is the peace of mind, knowing that, with some work and restraint on my part, I should NEVER have to worry about gaining weight or getting fat. I'll have a built-in mechanism to help me maintain my weight. That peace of mind is worth every penny of the surgery, every ounce of pain it may have caused.

Jody V said...

Keep up your thinking Judi!! It was always keep you skinny!

Tina said...

I wonder every couple of days whether it is time for a little fill. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one constantly debating what the right bandy path is.


Amaris said...

Thanks so much for your stories about banded life. I'm just two weeks post-op, so I can barely conceive what it will be like to be where you are. Thanks for the inspiration and information.