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Friday, July 3, 2009

NEWS FLASH: I eat like a skinny girl!


My relationship with food has always been complex. But, I'm sure you already know that. Let's face it, I wouldn't have been declared obese if it wasn't. Looking back at it all--from where I am sitting today--I have to wonder--why in the hell did I eat all that food? Yes, it's a question worth pondering. But, I'm not going to do that today. Why? Well, to be quite honest--I do not want to know. Why I became obese, how I became obese and everything else that goes with it is in my past. It's Judi History. Someday....maybe....I will do some deep soul searching and analysis. But, that ain't happening today friends.

Nope, today I am going to publicly acknowledge and celebrate my new and improved relationship with food. It's a relationship that feels comfortable and rewarding. The best kind! I still LOVE food. That's never changed. But, now I love it differently. As a matter of fact--I might love food now more than I've ever loved it before. And, food is still at the center of many of my thoughts. But, I think about it differently.

For years, I often wondered how some of the most amazing cooks and chefs managed to stay slender and healthy. It always seemed like a contradiction to me. Didn't they eat their own food? Wasn't food at the center of their world? Weren't they always around wonderful, delicious foods? I could understand an overweight chef. But, not a fit and trim chef! You know the old adage--never trust a skinny cook? I truly believed that! It wasn't just a saying to me.....

Arriving at this place is not something I recognize everyday. But, every so often it occurs to me that something very profound has changed inside of me. Although every change can be directly linked back to my Lapband, not every change is physical. This change in my relationship with food has nothing to do with my weight loss--yet it has everything do with it. All of a sudden--I am, I am thrilled....with myself. Don't get me wrong--my life is far from perfect. If it has to be imperfect--I'd much rather it be imperfect at this weight than 100 pounds ago. Yet, it's not about the 100 pounds. In my past life, if I had lost 100 would not have signifcantly impacted my relationship with food. I would have still wanted it as much as I did before the 100 pounds. In fact, I would have celebrated the weight loss by eating food. Thus, setting off a course of events that would have put that 100 pounds right back where it came from---my body.

My Lapband has given me a gift that I never knew existed--the feeling of fullness. And, with that gift, I have found a new way of living in a world where I love food. It's no longer about going to a restaurant and ordering my very favorite soup plus a full entree and dessert. It's now about having my very favorite soup....enjoying, savouring it and allowing the reason why I love it so much be the reason why I am eating it. it's eat what I love and that's it.

What a plan!


Anonymous said...

Soooo I will be able to enjoy the food I love, eat just enough to feel full. Makes all the damn sense to me. Thanks Judi.


Daffodil Hill said...

You did it! I am SO proud of you! Losing 100 pounds is a great accomplishment. Betcha have a great new swimsuit and flip flops for your vacation! {{hugs}}

FatGirlGoneBanded said...

THIS is the best news I have heard in a long time! All hail Lapband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am getting mine on July 7, 2009! The first day of the rest of my life!
Thank you Judi havign this blog online!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!