Martini Tuesday......

Yes, I know it's Tuesday at 5 am. But, you know what they say...."it's 5 o'clock somewhere" (I don't think they meant 5 am....symantics). Okay....like my daughter says.....whatever! I'm pretty sure it's Wednesday somewhere. It's my midweek martini madness....a day early here but right on time in another part of the world. Afterall, I am so cultured and so into time zones.

Listen, I've got 1000 meatballs to make, an ocean of sauce to cook and a big dilemna about how many pounds of pasta to make....plus the cheese issue (how much should I grate?). Even with Mayor Eileen's expert guidance (thank you!) on how to calculate how much pasta to make, I'm still feeling very befuddled and edgey. Is 25 pounds an absurd amount or a stingy amount? Should I have 10 lbs already made then bring my big pot and make the rest as needed? Sounds risky....I'll be wearing fru-fru shoes and drinking wine. Risky....at best. What to do? What to do?


In the meantime, I'm going to be peeling garlic, chopping onions and cutting up basil every night....all night....this week! Imagine what I will smell like! Very sexy to an Italian man!! Well, no matter how alluring I will be, there will be no amore in the kitchen! Because in between all of my chopping and stirring and rolling, I have to carry on with my regular not-so-quiet life. Gotta do things like go to work, make dinner, pull weeds and clean up one mess after another. No time for anything except maybe some sleep. And, eyeliner and lipstick. Always time for that.

Now, do you see why I'm talking martinis? Lapband friendly martinis, of course! Alright, there isn't much protein but sometimes that's just gotta be okay.

Orange Creamsicle Martini

PER SERVING (entire recipe, 1 martini): 109 calories, 0g fat, 69mg sodium, 2.5g carbs, 0g fiber, 0.5g sugars, 0g protein

Ingredients:

4 oz. diet orange drink, room temperature

1.5 oz. orange-flavored vodka (like Smirnoff Twist of Orange)

1.5 oz. Torani Sugar Free Vanilla Syrup

1 tbsp. Cool Whip Free Directions: Place all ingredients in a martini shaker, but DO NOT shake

Mix thoroughly with a spoon until mixture is mostly lump-free. Add about 1 cup ice (crushed, if you've got it), and stir until mixture is cold. Then place the strainer on top and pour into a large martini glass. Enjoy! MAKES 1 SERVING

Mounds Bar Martini

PER SERVING (half of recipe, 1 martini): 112 calories, 0g fat, 80mg sodium, 2.5g carbs, 0.5g fiber, 1.5g sugars, 1g protein --

Ingredients: 3 oz. vodka (80 proof)

1 packet Diet Swiss Miss Hot Cocoa Mix (the 25-calorie one)

2 oz. Torani Sugar Free Coconut Syrup

2 tbsp. Fat Free Reddi-wip

Directions: Fill a martini shaker halfway with ice (preferably crushed). Combine cocoa mix with 2 oz. hot water, and mix well. Then add 2 oz. cold water, and pour the mixture into the martini shaker. Add the vodka, syrup and Reddi-wip, and cover the top of the shaker. Shake for about a minute, or until the liquid is cold. Then strain into 2 martini glasses. Enjoy! MAKES 2 SERVINGS

Kickin' Key Lime Pie Martini

PER SERVING (entire recipe, 1 martini): 129 calories, 0g fat, 21mg sodium, 7g carbs, 0g fiber, 4g sugars, 0g protein

Ingredients:

1.5 oz. lime-flavored vodka (like Finlandia Lime or Smirnoff Twist of Lime)

1 oz. Torani Sugar Free Vanilla Syrup

2 tbsp. pineapple juice

1 tbsp. lime juice

1 tbsp. Cool Whip Free

Directions: Place all ingredients in a martini shaker with 1 cup ice (crushed ice works best). Cover the top of the shaker, and shake thoroughly. Strain into a martini glass and enjoy! MAKES 1 SERVING

Happy Martini Tasting!