Today is my mother's birthday. I won't tell you how old she would have been. She wouldn't like that.
My mother liked to have her favorite pie---lemon merengue--on every 39th birthday she celebrated. And, she had several of them. That probably explains my problem with math. Each year, on June 13th, my mother would announce that she was going to be 39. "Like Jack Benny" she would say. So, I figured, my mom and Jack Benny were 39. Year after year after year. One time, I innocently asked her about being 39 again. She explained....ever so seriously....that once you reach 39, that's it, you stay 39. She was my mother. What was there not to believe? Mothers don't lie. And, she looked pretty old....39 was old in my preteen world. (Now I know what "39 and holding" means.) It never occurred to me to ask her how her father got to be 80. It's one of the many questions I never got to ask her.
Speaking of my mother's age....a few weeks back, it occurred to me that my mother passed away less than 2 weeks shy of her 54th birthday. We never mentioned her age as being 54. We always used her current age...53. Even though she was 53,11 months and 352 days old. She died when she was 53. She never reached 54. We never had that lemon merengue pie so it didn't count. When you're a kid, if you're within a few months of your birthday---you always use the following year. "Going on 16" means it's your 15th birthday. "Almost 16" means it's less than a year away. "Going to be 16" means it's several months away. And, then finally, when it's about 2 months away....you are 16. But, not my mom. She was 53 on that Memorial Day in May when she died. Well, 53 for practical purposes. 39 in the World of Din (my mom's nickname).
The pain of my mom's death is behind me. Oh, I never thought that would happen. I couldn't imagine ever smiling again or laughing again. Or seeing her picture or saying her name without horrific sadness. But, she was a good mom....she gave me 14 years, 5 months and 5 days of what I needed to live in a world without her in it. And, I think of her each day. Well, maybe I miss a day or two of thinking about her, I'm not sure. But, I make up for it at other times. I named my daughter after her. Antoinette.
Naming her beautiful grandaughter after her makes up for at least 30 days of not thinking about her. She would agree. She was like that. She had a bawdy sense of humor, a down to earth attitude and a raucous laughter that brought her and everyone around her to tears. So, she would be perfectly okay if I got a little busy or preoccupied with other things and didn't see her in my mind's eye 24/7. And, trust me, she would completely forgive me for not thinking of her especially on days when I was preoccupied by my new Lapbanded life. She would have totally loved the whole idea of getting a Lapband. She was the diet queen of the neighborhood. Every Monday...without fail....a diet. If she would have heard about some band you put around your stomach to stop you from eating so much, my mother would have been first in line at the doctor's office, raising her fist in the air, threatening the doctor to give her that damn Lapband NOW! Trust me, she would be pro Lapband. She would have put me on her back and carried me to the hospital piggy back style to get my Lapband if she were alive. Believe me when I tell you....my mother would have traveled this road with me. As she would every road. She was a warrior....with alot of sass. What a fun ride it would have been....with my mom.
3 comments:
What a touching, fitting tribute to your dear mother! You are lookin' good girl! I know your mom is proud.: )
My mother used to tell us she was 21. And when I asked her how old she was when she got married, she used to say she was a "Child Bride"
I was the only kid, and I believed her. One day one of my friends asked me how old my mother was and I told them 21. (I was probably 10)
My older sister was so mad, she marched into our house and said "Mom, will you please tell this poor kid how old you really are. She is out there telling the whole neighborhood you are 21."
My mother just laughted and never did confess to me her real age.
My mother was also always on a diet. One reason she always failed, she stopped at eatn park every tuesday to get a strawberry sundae on the way home from weight watcher meetings.
What a nice post.
Sorry should have read before hitting that darn button.
I was the only kid who believed her, not the only kid.
She also told her grandkids she was 21.
The nephew once said, wow grammie, my mother's older than you.
They believed her. Smart kids.
Post a Comment