Funking........

I'm in a bit of a funk. Maybe it's just for today. Let's hope. Because I'm not a good funk person. I enjoy wanting to smile and laugh and be friendly and nice...that's just who I am. If I didn't feel like doing that, I'd have an identity crisis. And, I don't like any kind of crisis. I like love, peace and happiness. I can't stand feeling overwhelmed and a tad down. I like being enthusiastic and upbeat. It's a much nicer way to live. It suits me best and I can't figure out a way to live any differently. I'm very uncomfortable with misery and sadness and being glum. And, being melancholy just annoys the hell out of me. I understand that in reality--we will all feel this way....sometimes. But, I don't want it to become a habit with me. I don't like people who always have sour looks on their faces or always seem put out or who are just not nice. And, I don't want to be one of those people. It's not a good look for me and it doesn't feel right. Clashes with my shoes. When I see someone, I want to smile and say "hi". And, damn it, I want them to do the same back to me. I want to want to do nice things for others---not grand gestures....just little nice things that make both of us feel good. And, I don't want to make others feel badly....I want to lift them up and make them feel important and worthy and special. I don't want them to feel compelled to ask me if I am okay or if something is bothering me or worry that somehow they upset me. No! I want to want to make someone's day a little better just by being who I am. That's how I want to live. But, today I don't feel that way. It's not so much that I can't do it....sure, I can fake it. It's that I don't want to do it. Now, I'm having to fake wanting to do it! Maybe I'm just having after cruise let-down. Tomorrow will be a better day......won't it? Hopefully, it will be a non-funker day.