Now that I am thinner.
Hear me out folks.
I was shunned last night.....on St. Patrick's Day nonetheless....
It's story time...
When my daughter was in high school, she was friends with a girl who we will call Jenny.
They were cheerleaders together. They went to each other's birthday parties, slept over each other's homes, etc....
In the early years of their cheerleading career, when they cheered at games mid-afternoon, I would escape from the office and race to the games and sit with a group of parents---Jenny's parents being part of the group.
Jenny's mother---who we will call Mary (a willowy beauty)--would always save me a seat.
Jenny's father--who we will call Pat (not an extremely handsome fellow--in fact, he was very odd looking-- but he was very sweet) would always tell me that his wife just loved me. He always said it in a most appreciative way.
When it was cold, he would bring me hot tea and an extra blanket.
I always found it quite strange that he would gush so much and that he worked so hard at being attentive to me.
Yet, considering that he doted on his wife and daughter and lavished them to the point of ridiculousness, I just figured he was just that kind of guy.
In the beginning, I never had any illusions that he was fawning over me for any reasons except that he was who he was.
As time went on and I began to get to know Mary, I realized the woman was just a bitch.
A beautiful bitch but a bitch nonetheless.
As more of the mothers began to shun Mary (for good reason!), I came to realize that Pat's behavior was a thank you to me for putting up with this woman who he so clearly adored.
As time went on, I could not understand Pat's adoration. She was just so awful to him--flirting with other men in front of him, belittling him in public, sharing his embarrassing faults and ordering him around.
Other than the fact that she was downright gorgeous from her flowing hair to her immaculate pedicure, there was nothing to like about the woman.
She was completely self absorbed and downright mean.
EXCEPT WHEN IT CAME TO ME.
She treated me special.
Silly me....I just figured it was because she liked me.
Yet, I could not figure out why she was so horrible to everyone else.
When other mothers would say things about Mary...I would always defend her.
After all, she always saved me a seat.
It was a very uncomfortable situation.
I should mention that I was well over 200 pounds at this time.
Thankfully, it all ended when the girls were not on the same cheer squad.
The next year, when I heard that Mary had dumped Pat, I wasn't quite surprised.
Word on the street is that she used him for his money.
A few months after the split, I ran into Mary at one my favorite little places.
She was thrilled to see me. We had a glass of wine, shared some small talk and then went on our separate ways.
After that, I would run into her at the same place every so often and we would share hugs and pleasantries.
I should mention that I was still well over 200 pounds.
Then, I heard she moved to Florida with a new guy.
No more Mary.
So, imagine my surprise a few months ago when I ran into Mary and Pat sitting at the bar at a little place nearby.
There was no way to avoid them so I approached them and said HELLO.
They both seemed extremely happy to see me--almost giddy, Pat offered to buy me a drink and Mary hugged me as if she really missed me.
We chatted until my friend arrived and then we went off for dinner and drinks.
Before they left the bar, they came over to kiss me goodbye and tell me that they would love to get together soon. Both of them gushing about how great it would be to get together and catch up.
I should mention that I was wearing a very puffy, furry winter coat.
So, last night, when I saw Mary and Pat at the bar wearing their green and looking so very festive, I thought it was my duty to go over and wish them a Happy St. Patty's Day.
Me in my size 8 petite lime green jeans, lime green tank with my lovely matching jacket, my green western clogs and my flaming green hair....
As I approached them, I could see an odd look in Mary's eyes.
I just figured she had one too many green beers.
Pat was smiling warmly, his Irish eyes were inviting me over.
I touched Mary's back, giving her my holiday greetings....
She turned around and said "oh hi..." in a most degrading way--as if I was bothering her--and then she returned to her drink.
Pat extended his hand hesitantly. I shook it, offered him my greeting and stood there waiting for something.....anything....
I was dumbfounded.
And, yes, I was a bit embarrassed.
Was it my GREEN HAIR?
My wise friend Kate told me that my hair had nothing to do with it.
It was my body.
She said that Mary doesn't associate with women unless they are fatter than her.
After thinking it all over---I realized that Kate is right.
I am not worthy of being Mary's friend.
I guess she won't be saving me a seat ever again...