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Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Mid-week in my midlife crisis.......

and it's in the mid-90's......
Which translates into me being a tired, hot, cougar.....

Alright, alright.....2 of out 3 ain't bad.
I'm tired and hot..
A cougar I'm not


Listen, I don't get this cougar thing.
According to an online source.....a cougar is a middle-aged woman who preys upon men young enough to be her son......
The visual alone is not very pleasing.
My son?
He throws his socks on the floor.
And he likes to play video games for hours on end.
He drinks beer.
He considers boxed wine top shelf.
Plus, he needs fed every few hours when he's in my presence.
Why would I prey on a man like that?
Even if he is cute, smart and oh so funny.

This cougar thing is just not for me.
It's way too much work.
With not much in return.
At this stage of my life....I would prefer to put in little to no effort and get lots in return.
Because I am worth it.

The way I see it....
Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

My stomping days are over.
I just want a good wine with my dinner.
Preferably one that's been aged to perfection.....
And, if it comes with added benefits....yippee.
If not, just give me another glass of wine and the option to meet my girlfriends after dinner.
This is my midlife.
It works for me.

So, no need to lock up your sons.
Unless of course, they are looking to be hired out as laundry and lawn boys.....

I'm way too busy, way too tired and just too damn hot.
It's either delirium.
Or menopause.
Take your pick.


On with Wednesday.....

10 comments:

Barbara said...

Absolutlely love this post.. you said it all.. now let's pour a glass of vintage!

tessierose said...

LOL!

Gilly said...

That may be the dictionary definition of what a Cougar is...but it's not my definition! In Gilly's definition, it's just a hot woman who has reached the pinnacle of her perfection. And I'm taking Cougar back! Like gay people took "Queer" back! I am taking it back, because I love it! And I am cougarlicious!

Raaaaar!

Kerri said...

Too funny!

Eileen, Founder, Organizer, Mayor and Chief Cook And Bottle Washer of the Anger Management Girls. said...

Love it. I think the same thing! God Bless the cougar who wants my sons!!!

Also think the young girls with the old men is goofy.
Viagra screwed every middle aged woman out of ever finding a companion. These men can finally do it and think they are hot shit.

Marie said...

LOL Gilly! This is so funny. I think it is hysterical that younger men want to date older women but so many men our age want nothing to do with us! As an older single woman, it is quite flattering to have men in their late twenties to early thirties hitting on you. Especially if they are cute, cute, cute. The thing to remember is we don't have to marry them!! :)

Nella said...

Great post!

amandakiska said...

LOVE IT!

Bonnie said...

I AGREE! Older men are where it's at.

Kinzie said...

Good one! (although I do like them a little younger, I always had a 10 year rule and wound up with one 8 years younger :-)