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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The shame of NOT going, going, going.....

and going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going,going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going,going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going....g o i n g, g o i n g,

The bragging rights of never sleeping, exercising at least 90 minutes a day, being over scheduled, always on call, forever working, never stopping.....has reached epic proportions. And, it's making us mortal folks feel like slackers. Even when we are doing our fair share...perhaps a little bit more. There's always a few in every crowd--whether it be in your office, your neighborhood or your family--they are there--the ones who say they do it and tell you all about it and judge you if you're not keeping pace with their maniacal pace. Their jobs are harder, they do a hell of a lot more and they care waaaay more than anyone else on the planet. They have no time for fashion or shopping or knowing what's on menus at trendy places. They don't go to movies for fun and when they do partake in alcohol--they don't waste themselves on low shelf stuff--only the finest wines and expensive spirits. As a matter of fact, people come to them when they want to know about selecting good wine and making classic martinis. They've climbed mountains in Bejing and crossed the desert in their bare feet--all the while jotting down notes on how to save the planet. They are never late on bills, they've saved more than they need for retirement, they never forget a special occasion (as long as it's a self-proclaimed important one) and never once have they considered taking a short cut. They are writing novels while baking bread and they just finished planning their family reunion for 300 people who are scattered around the globe. They say multi-tasking is for sissies--they are uber-taskers and don't take the time for the lowly things in life--like non-critical-to-life days off or non-productive vacations. They keep incredibly detailed journals and can find matching black socks in an instant. They grow prize winning tomatoes as well as world-renowned roses and they have immaculate homes and shit yeah they met the president of France. They come to work when they feel like shit, they go to funerals sick--and somehow manage to give eulogies worthy of praise , they complete triatholons even though they are steps away from their death beds and they somehow manage to cook exotic meals for world dignitaries at a moment's notice even though they have a fever of 104. Yes, they are exhausted. Of course they could use a vacation. And, they can't tell you the last time they had more than 4 hours of sleep. There's way too much to do, there's too many demands placed upon their time (because they are damn important) and after all--who in the hell would do all this if they didn't? It's all in a day's work for these super human folks. And, there we sit. What have we done lately?

It's time to take a stand against these self-important, I-am-God beings. They are messing up the universe and screwing with our heads. Plus, they are making us feel mighty bad about ourselves. There we are--working hard, running as fast as we can, doing everything we can do and then some, being good citizens and good parents and good partners and good friends and good colleagues and trying to keep our houses clean and our families fed and getting to work on time and not forgetting birthdays. Yet, one conversation with Mr. or Ms. Can-Do-It-All-And-Live-To-Tell-About-It and we feel like there's something seriously wrong with us. Asking them--"so what did you do this weekend?" can somehow backfire into making us feel like we had a hand in creating world hunger and in worsening the plight of the homeless. And, that's on a good day. Hell, if we catch these bigger than life folks with the stamina of a 17 year olds on speed on a day where they just held court with the most influential minds of our time and wooed them like they have never been wooed before--a quick conversation with them and we're ready to end our pitiful little lives for good. Somehow, amongst all their strengths and skills, they also have the innate ability to make us everyday human beings feel utterly useless and lazy. They are that good.
Blame on the world we live in or blame it on their 2nd grade teachers or blame it on their mothers. It doesn't matter. Blame is unimportant. Whatever it is that's got them thinking that a person is not worthy unless they are doing and having it all regardless of the consequences is not for us to figure out. Maybe they are just naturally born with a type of bulldozer behavior and that is that. Or, perhaps they really are just super human. But, I've got this theory---if they really were that smart and cared so much--we would know nothing of their great feats. Why? Because if they were so smart and caring, they would know that their constant bragging would make themselves unlikable. Even more importantly--they would know that by doing all that yapping about their constant perfectness and wonderfulness and daring life--they would tear down the good folks around them. Anyone who is smart and caring would not want that....not at all.
So, what stand do we take? How do we stop these I-think-I'm-great-and-you-should-too folks? I have absolutely no idea. Why? Because their humaness makes it futile to try to change them. Yes, friends--they are human. So, until I find out otherwise, I figure the best thing to do is this--as they spout off about their latest good deed or amazing undertaking--I will picture them in their underwear--which, of course, would make me smirk....which, of course--would make them wonder why I am smirking.

I think that's the best thing I could give the self-anointed superheros in my midst----the knowledge that in all their greatness and glory--they have no idea what I am thinking.


Jody V said...

Oh Judi -

I looooooove this post!! It is so what I am thinking these days! It's not's them!!

Thanks for the great comment yesterday! I needed it!


Brooke said...

Love this post. It's a good reminder not to even try to keep pace with these people. It's not worth it!

Eileen, Founder, Organizer, Mayor and Chief Cook And Bottle Washer of the Anger Management Girls. said...

Send them to me at my new job.