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Friday, February 29, 2008

Happy YOUday!

The YOUday Mascot and Mantra

February 29. Every four years, it's February 29. There's some complex formula to figure out which years they will appear in. But, I prefer to be surprised. Just like a gift. Twirled up in ribbons and bows, pretty polka-dot paper and extra tissue! And, there it is.......an extra day---tucked right there beneath the swirl of wrappings . A splendid little bauble. Sparkley and sweet. A brand new day. 24 hours that you haven't had for a few years and you won't see for another few is worthy of celebration! Don't you agree? How many times have we said ...."boy what I could do with another day..."? Well, here it is. An extra day. It sort of makes me feel like I should do something extra special. So, that's what I am going to do. I'm going to design a holiday..........just for us. For You. Well, YOU and I. It's all about YOU. And ME too.

Last night, Toni told me that my sister Denise thought today should be a national holiday....everyone should get the day off. I agree. I'll tell you....good ideas run my family! It would be a grand holiday. Afterall, it's mid-winter and all that stuff (don't get me started again.....). And, even though it comes right on the heels of that other holiday--- President's Day..... let's face it....that's not a celebrating and kicking your heels up kind of holiday. At least not in my book. But today? Well, now, that's a whole 'nother story. Toni and I could use our day-at-the-spa Christmas gift certificates and get all pampered up and beautified. Then we could go shopping. I mean, if it were declared a national holiday---imagine the sales---THIS SALE COMES ONLY ONCE EVERY FOUR YEARS. Think of the shoes we could buy....on sale! Toni and I would be there! We could oogle and squeal and snatch up all the shoe deals then run over to Victoria Secrets and buy amazing lingerie....on sale! What a day that would be. I doubt it would be the kind of holiday that you invite the in-laws over for pasta and meatballs. No, no. Not if I'm planning this holiday. I do not need another holiday where I have to clean my house and hide all the dirty laundry. Anyway, I'm still working on getting the house back together from Christmas. And, there's that pesky little problem of my dining room re-do that we have going on. So, even if it was a holiday where dinner is a big deal, we would have to starve (yeah, like that would happen!). Speaking of starving......one of my lapbanded blog readers who emails me every so often suggested that today be a day to "fast". Her reasoning? Well, she figures if today is an extra day then what it boils down to in her book is extra calories. And, she doesn't want any extra calories--she said she has enough problems dealing with the regular calories. It sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Perhaps I should fast. Like in---not eat a thing. A Starbuck's chai latte would probably be okay. And, I'm sure wine and martinis are fine. But, no food. So, let's add fasting with allowable drinks to this holiday. Oh, and......I wonder....if it was a holiday.....should gifts be involved? I'm thinking yes. Most definitely gifts. Luxurious gifts. Things that no one needs or would admit that they want. You know what I am talking about. Okay, and while we're at it...... I also think that part of the day should be reserved for spending with your friends to celebrate friendship. I'd probably call that part of the day Happy Hour (hey...I'm winging it here....developing a new holiday and all....). And, no drink tax. Yes, I think that due to the holiday, the drink tax should take a holiday too. After the Happy Hour portion of the day, it would probably be a good time to take a limo ride, pick up your favorite squeeze and have a romp in the back seat. Or, if you're unattached.....you could ride around in that limo and maybe get to know the limo driver a little better. Or, if you get a limo with a sun roof maybe you could just stand up in the limo and dance while the limo driver chauffers you around the neighborhood you grew up in. You could wave to everyone.......even that nasty neighbor who always snatched your badmitten birdie when it landed in her yard!

So, let's review....
-No work
-No cooking or cleaning
-Pampering
-Beautifying
-Shopping at big sales
-No calories from food
-Calories from drinks allowed
-Happy Hour
-No drink tax
-Limo
-Possibly the limo driver
-Possible limo romp
-Revisiting your youth (the neighborhood)
-Gifts

This could be the best holiday ever. Ever. Ever ever. Yes, ever, ever, ever. EVER!
Do you think if Hillary becomes Prez, she'll consider it? (not that I'm being political or anything)
Happy YOUday to all of YOU!!!
(and me too)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Judi, Now that we are okay with swearing and drinking! You just have to be the most amazing insightful woman on this fucking planet!
God, I love you girl!
Happy Friday and Happy Happy Hour!
Jen

Anonymous said...

Hey Bitch! Your blog is my nite-nite. Your door aint't locked and I'm coming in to see! You should not be so see thru................!!!!!!! Hot ma-ma and hot da-ta! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Anonymous said...

Judi, This is my first post and I feel bad about this.
Don't want to scare you but I didn't know how to contact you about the scare at your DD's high school. I kept wanting to call you because I knew your daugther went there. That girl is the most beautiful thing from the most beautiful mom. Worried me all day. Looks like things worked out thank God! You are #1 Judi! Sorry I never sent you a note. I always loved talking to you at Dr's. You made me feel good. Thanks for your blog addrees.
Maria (from Dr. Cip's )