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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Even I couldn't knock a good man down........

Remember him.......the cute intern.? You know the one.....the almost-doctor who I misbehaved with? The one who was half-afraid to come into my hospital room after the tongue lashing I gave him? The kid who I was positive would give up his entire medical career after a run in with a drugged-up me? Well, you can all stop worrying.....he did not abandon his career. He's still there. I didn't single-handedly sniff out his childhood dreams of saving overweight women. Although, he may have been demoted or something. Or, maybe the staff was playing a cruel joke on him. met up again.....with me. If he remembered me, he didn't immediately let on. "I'm not sure if we met. Although you do look familiar," is what he said. "I don't recall"---I couldn't help but it say it with a hint of sarcasm. (Yes, he is still cute. )'s how it all happened----I had my 6 month follow-up visit with my surgeon. As luck would have it, we were besieged with a nasty snow-rain-ice storm. But, I was oh so determined to get to that appointment. I braved my way into work in my trusty new 4 wheel drive....over hill and dell. Since the hospital is only a hop, skip and jump from my office, I figured I'd work a good portion of the day and then head down on the bus for my 3:00 appointment and then go back to work for awhile. But, outside of our windowless basement lair, the weather continued to get worse and the roads became treacherous. Reports from the outside were few and far between. Although, my son did IM me to tell me to "get out now". But, I figured it was his first snow storm of his adult life where he didn't live within a few naturally, he would panic. When the surgeon's office called me to say that they wanted to reschedule me for another day---they were not going to see anyone after 2 pm because of the storm and the impending doom that the weather forecasters were predicting----I immediately said "No! I can be there by2!" So, I bundled up and set out on my journey to the surgeon's office. It was snowing. It was raining. It was hailing. But, I was going to get to that damn surgeon's office even if I had to commandeer a tractor to get me there. Thankfully, a bus came along and I hopped on. But, it was a slow bus. A very slow bus. Everyone on the bus looked wide-eyed with panic---even the driver. Cars were not driving in their own lanes. The roads were slushy and the precipitation was relentless. But, that bus driver got me there.....slowly but safely. By the time I ran across the slushy street to the hospital and up to the 5th floor, it was 2:05. As I entered the suite, there was some kind of fight going on between 2 receptionists and a patient....the woman wanted to be seen right away.....she drove in from "F'ing West Virginia....." and she didn't give an F if there was "an F'ing tornado", she was going to see the F'ing doctor right that minute. Shortly, a few security guards arrived and they took the F'ing fight out into the hallway. And, then it was my turn. That's when one the receptionists started putting on her coat. Now, I did not want a repeat of the previous F'ing episode....with me as the central character. So, I sweetly asked if my surgeon was still there. "Your name?" she barked. That's how it went. I killed her with kindness and she barked at me. But, I was going to see my surgeon no matter what (well, I didn't want to cause an F'in scene). A few minutes later, a nurse-type person came out and told me that yes, I would be seeing my surgeon but that since several of the clinic's team had left ("due to the weather conditions" she told me, her eyes narrowing), they were very short staffed. That meant that I'd have to wait until someone was available to weigh me, take my blood pressure and get me prepped for the surgeon. No problem. I just sat there and waited. One by one, I noticed staff members walking out the door with their coats on...calling out to the others "you better get out of here!". But, I just sat there and read a Better Homes and Gardens magazine from June 2007 and watched the lousy weather from my perch 5 floors above the ground. I was going to see my surgeon.! About 90 minutes after my arrival, I was called. I was ushered into a room---where I sat......for another 20 minutes. I got weighed.......yes, I lost 8 lbs since January 14. But, the medical assistant was far too intent on getting out of there to stand and applaud my success. So, I secretly cheered in my head....."yeah, 8 lbs.....wish it were 10". She took my blood pressure. She took my measurements. But, I didn't dare ask how many inches I lost. Since, at that point, she was telling me about how far she had to drive her 3 of them home sick with the flu. After all the prerequisite forms were filled out and a few questions were answered, I was placed in the surgeon's waiting area. Where I sat for another 30 minutes. After sneaking out to call my office, I came back only to find.....yes.....the cute intern waiting for me. He extended his hand, gave me a charming smile and said......."Everyone wants to get out of here...because of the weather..... so I'll be seeing you today." As we walked back to the examining room, he said "It's just you and me......". I didn't know if he was hitting on me or threatening me. I preferred to think he was hitting on me. After all......I had this amazing, chunky necklace surely gave me a very alluring look. And, then it occurred to me.....if I would have taken that necklace off, the scale may have read a 10 lb loss. Just as I was about to demand that he re-weigh me, he said "now, let me look at your incisions....". He had me. I lifted up my shirt for the cute intern. I owed him that much.

1 comment:

Cottage said...

I Roared with laughter reading your post! Congrats on the self control with the young man, as I am sure he wanted more than to see your incision. :)

I must ask, how ever did you get back to the office then back home? I was saying, 'hurry Judi, hurry!'

Congrats on your amazing weight loss!