For instance--I don't think it's proper to ask anyone or tell anyone how much money you make, how much you weigh, what your bank account looks like or how much you paid for your house or your car or if you've been arrested, served time in jail or in a mental instituion or how many people you've had sex with....
And, discussions on grades, test scores and rankings shouldn't be brought up either.
And, I'm not crazy about nosing into people's political views or religious beliefs or sexual orientations.
People are who they are and that's enough for me.
Everyone makes choices and decisions based on what they need and who they are.
People find their way in the world in ways that make them happy or in ways that work for them. Halleluiah!
If someone has more than me, makes more money than me, weighs less or more than me, is richer or poorer than me or is smarter than my kids or I, then so be it. If they choose to live differently than I do or pray in a different church or vote differently or feel differently than me on a subject---I'm cool with it all.
It's the balance of nature, it's what makes the world go 'round and damn--it's the way it should be.
I don't need to know someone's credentials, weight, QPA or credit score to love them, care about them or accept them.
Granted, some of those things can be figured out or found out if people are so inclined.
And, some of those topics can come up after a few glasses of wine, a few martinis or during a night out with the girls....
But, I don't think any of those things are topics that need to be discussed, judged or shared....among sober, sane folks....
It's just what I think.
So, why am I telling you all that?
In as much as I don't believe in talking about weight--it's what I do--everyday. Which, on the surface, I suppose makes me sound like a real hypocrit. Sure, I'm not asking who weighs what and I'm not making judgments on everyone's weights. But, I am throwing around numbers.....as in I lost 115 pounds. I guess it's okay since I'm talking about me.....right?
A conversation I was involved in the other day got me to thinking.....
It went like this....
LOVELY FRIEND OF JUDI (LFOJ): I really, really, really need to go on a diet! I've already blown my New Year's resolutions! Look how fat I am! I'm so disgusted!
ME: Oh, come on, don't be so hard on yourself!
LFOJ: Easy for you to say now that you lost all that weight! I don't know what to do! I'm always exhausted, my knees are killing me, my feet hurt all the time, everything in my closet is tight, I don't feel like doing a thing! You know I need to lose weight! I mean....don't you think I need to lose weight?
ME: Well.....if you really think losing weight would make you feel better then maybe you should check out some diet programs. Weight Watchers is great.
LFOJ: I just don't have the ambition or the energy for it! What would you do if you were me?
ME: I think that's pretty obvious what I would do.......
SILENCE......
Yeah, that was the wrong answer.....You see, by responding the way I did--I acknowledged the fact that LFOJ needed to lose weight. And, not only that--I told her that I thought she was so overweight that she needed a Lapband.
That is what she heard......
....here's how the conversation continued....
LFOJ: Well, that's you. I can't do that.
ME: No. No. No. I wasn't saying that.
LFOJ: Do you really think I need to lose as much as you did? I don't think I am THAT heavy! Am I?
SILENCE.......
Yeah, that didn't feel too good.
Here's what I heard....
She was saying that I looked much heavier than she does now!
Because, really.....I'm pretty sure she is just as heavy as I was before my Lapband.
So, yeah.....I'm now even more convinced that talking about weight is not a very good thing.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh................
2 comments:
I know what you're saying Judi. Some people are in denial. She knows she is in need of a diet. She is physically hurting from carrying around all that weight but is looking for an excuse not to do anything about it. She asks someone else (you in this case) what to do when she knows she isn't going to do anything about it. Don't let it bother you, just look at how many people you've inspired on blogger.
Remember what Ricky Nelson said in Garden Party "You can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself"... I think no matter what you would have said it would have been wrong, so don't even give it another thought. Just know that you are an inspiration to so many people.
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