Photoshop me, please......

Have you seen this.....?


It's Kim Kardash's "real" pix next to her photoshopped pix...
No surgery. No painful procedures. And, wa-la....no cellulite, leaner legs, nicer curves...
Sounds good to me. Where do I sign up? I don't have to look good in the mirror. I'm fine with my flaws. Just make me look good when others see me. Take away the bumps and the lumps and the sagging and these fine lines and wrinkles. Maybe give me a little more oomph and wow. And, while we're at it...could I get some nip and tuck? And, if it's not asking too much, I'd like a bikini wax, lusher eye lashes and perfectly pedicured feet. Oh, and before I forget...could you put a super hot rugged looking bad boy next to me.....make sure he looks like he wants to do really naughty things with me. You know...lusting after my 50 year old bod and experience...

While we're on the subject of photoshopping and bodies....
How about this?

Do we think Val had a little photoshopping done?
Either way...the girl looks great. Hey...in a bikini on the cover of a magazine? She's doing alright. I'm happy her and Jenny had so much success. I like Val. I too had some success on Jenny Craig. Many years ago. And, yes,it does work. It didn't lead me to a bikini but it got the job done for a little while. I hope Val's Jenny Craig success sticks around longer than mine....

Speaking of my situation.....
Here's a celeb Lapband sister.....before and after losing 90 lbs.....

Who cares if she's photoshopped! She is a doll!
That's Guiding Light star Caitlin VanZand. Not that I know anything about her at all. I've been off my Guiding Light fixation for going on 20 years now. I have no idea what her drama is all about. But, what I do know is that she is a Lapbanded sister and isn't afraid to tell the world....


Yes, it's true...I like all this celebrity shit. But, I came by it honestly. I'm the product of living with a celeb-obsessed daughter. She raised me on gossip mags, reality shows, E! News, online celebrity sites and all that goes with it. She taught me the fine art of being in the know when it comes to our fav paparazzi stalked friends. I know how they eat, where they eat, what they weigh, when they gain weight, when they lose weight, how they do it, who they date, who they break up with, what they wear, where they buy it, when they buy it and everything else in between. I know about their home lives, their work lives, their love lives and their sex lives. Which, by the way, is all infinitely more exciting than mine is or ever will be. It's been a wonderful new dimension to my otherwise suburbanly-sedate, busy-with-normal-stuff life.
Now, off to get photoshopped.......check in tomorrow for the results.....