Skeletons in my closet........

This weight loss journey has brought with it a lot of surprises. Yet, one surprise perplexes me more than most. My closet. To explain--it's no surprise that for the past 8-10 years, I've hated the fact that I would go for months not being able to wear half the things hanging in my closet. I would grow out of clothes in a matter of weeks....sometimes even days. Give me a weekend and I could blast through a pair of jeans and all of my black pants. Give me a holiday season or a week at the beach and I would need a new wardrobe to go back to work. So, unless I wanted to bust zippers and seams at the speed of light, I'd have to go out and buy a few new things. So I did. I'd go shopping and buy the next size. Oh, I wasn't too happy about it. But, I did it. Even knowing that within a relatively short period of time--they too wouldn't fit. So, why is it that now that I am 70 pounds thinner---my closet it still filled with things I can't wear? Why are those 2X's and 1X's still hanging in there? Why haven't I purged it all? I mean, I hated those clothes so much, you'd think I'd just open the window and throw them on the next passing vehicle. Why haven't I went out and bought an entirely new wardrobe? Sure, sure...I know, I did have a secret stockpile of smaller clothes in the attic--I didn't have to go naked. Now those clothes don't even fit. I mean, I can understand my reluctance to go out and buy a bathing suit. Who enjoys that? But, come on, why haven't I---a girl who loves to shop-- blazed a trail through every store at the mall buying up all the clothes that I craved for so long? Why is my closet still packed with unwearable clothes? Can't I just give these things away? Can't I pack them up in bags and tote them to Goodwill? Can't I have a fat clothes burning party? Or, why can't I do the green thing and give them to someone who could really use them? Why am I holding on to a Size 18 pair of jeans that needed hemmed when I bought them and still needs hemmed? And, what about that white get up that I had to wear to my godchild's wedding? Or, that peachy number that I was forced into buying for my girlfriend's wedding because I could find nothing else to fit me? And, how about that caftan of sorts that I used as a cover up at the beach but then turned it into a night out on the town dress in a pinch? Am I secretly in love with those clothes or do I want to keep my closet looking well-endowed? Like I said---perplexing.

Every day I tell my family they have to go through their summer clothes and figure out what they need for our cruise. And, I become increasingly more frustrated when they don't. Last week, for example, I had a bit of a melt down..."don't tell me at the last minute that you need shorts!" I warned them all, raising my fist in front of my face. Then, a few days later, I pulled out all the new cruisewear I bought Carmen for our anniversary and demanded....."here, go through these and figure out if they fit you!" And yet...they still lay in a heap on top of his armoire. And, I've had multiple discussions with Toni--telling her she has to set aside one day from her demanding social calendar to try on clothes..."we're not just going out to buy things you don't need!" I told her. Yet, she hasn't found the time. But me? Well, I haven't even begun to figure out what doesn't fit me. And, why? Well, because down deep I know that nothing does. A good thing---yes, I know. Thinking back to last year when we were going to Disney and Daytona.....I also knew that I had nothing to fit me. So, what did I do? I went out and bought new things. In fact, I made several special trips to stores far and wide to pull my wardrobe together. Even then, I hated most of them. I have the pictures to prove they were awful. But now? I have nothing that fits. I am going on a cruise that I really want to go on. And, I have lost a significant amount of weight. These are all good things. Dreams come true things. What the hell is going on here?
I need to come out of my closet. There, I said it......