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Saturday, April 2, 2011

I'm a DOCTOR, who knew?


I have self diagnosed myself with restless leg syndrome.
Also known as RLS.
With the help of some of my doctor-like-me friends and my massive compilation of medical knowledge....aka Google....I have finally figured out what's been ailing me for months!
Just when I thought I had to give up wearing heels every day, I have found a cure for my sleepless nights, leg pains and misery.
Isn't it amazing what the threat of giving up cute shoes can do to a shoelover like me?

Although I've been suffering with night time leg aches and pains for many, many months, it's only recently that they have become almost intolerable.
I liken it to the pain that I suffered the time I spent 5 solid days running around DisneyWorld-- 115 pounds ago.
It was that kind of pain that sent me to my kitchen at 2 am the other morning to make eggplant parmagiano.
My legs just ache so much while I am in bed and I keep stretching them out and moving them in order to find some measure of comfort....but the comfort never comes.
The only relief I get is to move around.
So, the other night, when I just could not take it anymore-- I did what any other self-respecting in-pain woman would do at 2 am on a work night---I scoured my pantry and my freezer and my fridge to figure out what I could whip together to keep me busy.
(Cooking is often my go-to therapy of choice.)
It was either that or down the bottle of Hendrix gin.
Thankfully, I spotted the plump eggplant in the veggie bowl and had more than enough cheese to feed a large colony of Atkins dieters.
All I needed was some breadcrumbs, some olive oil and a container of frozen tomato sauce.
God must have been watching over me because I found everything within moments.
Yes, thank God.....Hendrix gin is way too valuable to waste on leg pains.
Plus, it wouldn't look too good if I showed up at work strung out on gin.

So, three hours later, I had 2 gorgeous casserole dishes of eggplant parmagiano, a sink filled with dirty dishes and sauce splattered all over my silky pink leopard jammies.
The house smelled amazing.
I was exhausted.
I had to go to work.
It was then, in my pitiful state, that I told myself--I can't do this anymore. The heels must go.

It must have been the scare that I needed.
My doctor skills kicked in, I called in the opinions of my doctor-like-me friends and I googled away.

I will now begin self-medicating.
I could not imagine a life in flat shoes.

4 comments:

Kathy said...

Wow! A doctor who cooks. I hope you find some relief. I have a friend with RLS and she does leg lifts in her bed during the night when they are bothering her (every night)This has caused her to have to sleep in a different room that her hubby or he wouldn't get any sleep.

Theresa aka Tessie Rose said...

Wow, I hope you feel better soon. I've been waking with charlie horses in my feet and calves, but I started eating bananas and they are much better.

Eileen, Founder, Organizer, Mayor and Chief Cook And Bottle Washer of the Anger Management Girls. said...

Remember the adds for the meds for RLS? At the end when they list the side effects, one of them was the uncontrolable urge to gamble.
It always put a picture in my mind of people running towards Bingo halls!

Anonymous said...

i have it too, and I wear flats all the time, so maybe that will give you comfort that it is not always the high heels. It sucks, doesnt it? drives me crazy too but I am not getting up in the middle of the night to cook, lol.

love ya!
Jill from NY