Here's how I got over the age thing....

I realized this:
A thinner 50 is a hell of a lot better than a fatter 40something....

All of sudden it hit me--I would not trade away the years for the pounds. Give me 50, take the weight. I don't know if it was the gin, the contraband, the black skirt, my spirited girlfriends, my new lip stick, liner and gloss, dancing at some trendy downtown bar (with my purse on my arm no less), my disregard for the old friend who wasn't too nice to me when I ran into her at our neighborhood bar or when I somehow fell off my bar stool--but, it came to me--this being 50 ain't so bad. Through the mental haze and brain fog, there was a bright light, a swirl of stars and a rocking beat--as if I was sitting in the first row of an Elton John concert--I am 50...girl, you are 50..

This all occurred to me yesterday morning after I picked up my phone at Tom's Diner--where my fun friends and I ate breakfast till 4 am, watched a fight, met two sleazy lawyers and God knows what else. After rescuing it from behind the counter, I was going through the activity and came upon a mystery text message. Who text messaged me at 1:29 am Saturday morning ("Drunk enough yet?...")? Who called me at 1:43 am? Who was this man who left me a cryptic voicemail at 2:02? What did I really do last night? Instead of that horrible feeling of "OH NO!"....I smiled and realized it was okay. It was a new attitude. 24 hours after turning 50, I had become 50. Was this the feeling of freedom my older friend Debbie told me about? Or, is it because I'm thinner? Do I realize that no matter what I did--I did it thinner? I wasn't some crazy drunk fat lady being desperate. I was a mature, confident woman letting off some steam and having fun with her girlfriends. Yes, that was why I could laugh instead of cry...

My Lapband...it may cause me to vomit every once in awhile (but I'm even getting better at that!) and it may have robbed me of Diet coke and pasta. But, I wouldn't trade any of it....it's all a part of me. Just like 50....

Oh by the way....I don't want to leave you hanging...the text messenger and the phone caller was our cab driver--a guy who just happened to graduate high school with my sister(yes, I'm finally convinced I always know someone...)

The celebration continues....