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Saturday, August 30, 2008

Sign me up coach!

It's Fantasy Football season. At least here in our humble part of the world. It's that time of the year again when Carmen spends lots of time cramming for the big "draft". Then, he goes to some hotel with a bunch of guys and eats hot sausage sandwiches,drinks beer and buys a team. It's all a fantasy, of course. Except for the hot sausage and beer. Oh and the money. Oh and the calories. Oh and probably the bloating and gas. The rest of it.....pure fantasy.

This whole fantasy football thing has had me curious for quite some time. Curious in the sense that it made me wonder if there's other sports or events that can turn "fantasy". I was little naive with my curiousity. Apparently, any sport can turn fantasy! And, from what I hear--it has. There are fantasy golf leagues, fantasy hockey leagues, fantasy baseball leagues, etc. Can you imagine? So, I guess I shouldn't find it so shocking that all this fantasy sporting has sparked an entirely new league--WAFS. Women Against Fantasy Sports. It's an entire movement--with shirts and everything. They have an online community offering support and comfort to all women who are suffering from their significant other's fantasy sport activities. They even have a toll-free number. Leave it to a bunch of women to make sure they had cute shirts and ways to communicate.

Now, to be honest, I am not against fantasy football. So, at this point, I don't see myself joining any kind of anti-fantasy football group. Sure,I find it a little chumpish, childish and kinda weird. But, I'm not against it. Carmen works so much and so hard and is under so much stress in his everyday life (no, not because of me!), if fantasy football gives him some relief--so be it. He's always been kind of boyish in his love of games and play. But, at 50, he doesn't get much of a chance to do any of that. If this does it for him....I say go for it! And, let's face it--if it gives me a night off from cooking dinner--it's a win-win. Win. Win. Win.

So, why do I bring this all up? Well,I'll tell you why. There's so much media hoopla and expert reports about the decline in exercise and activity among Americans. Right? There's a big push for people to get out there and get active. Right? Most articles will tell you that it doesn't matter what you do--just do it. Even NIKE tells you that! If you love a sport--play it. If you enjoy walking--walk. The message is--get moving. I mean, we hear it all of the time. It's not a big secret. So, why hasn't this intelligence rid the nation of obesity? Big questions usually take me awhile. But, I finally figured it out. We're into fantasies instead of real life. Americans can turn even the most active of exercises into nothing more than sitting down. Americans can add all kinds of bells and whistles to anything and make it all that more attractive. Throw in a little money, a little beer, some wings, some hot sausage and wa-la--the fun factor is amped up! Couple that with the fact that you don't have to have fast legs or abs of steel and it's sure to win over even the biggest couch potato. You can play any game, anywhere, any time...without leaving the comfort of your chair. Not only that, you can get together with an entire group of like-minded and like-bodied folks and compete with them! You may not be able to out run them on the track but damn you can out bid them and out smart them without ever leaving a chair. And, you can do it with a sausage sandwich in your hand!

So, now I'm thinking.....about fantasy eating. In my pre-lapband life, eating was my sport. If there's any sport that is worthy of turning into a's eating. Do I hear a second on that?

May I please have a fantasy plate full of nachos with cheese, chicken and beef and quacomole and sour cream and salsa..... ? But make my margarita real.

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