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Friday, August 22, 2008

Let's chit chat on my front porch instead......


Technology is a funny thing. The thought of it feels very impersonal. Keyboards and hard drives and modems and cables and ethernet connections. Computers and cellphones and blackberrys. Sleek and hard and cold. Yet, they are the very things that connect us--you and me. It's the revolution that's brought together strangers from around the world into one living room and around one table. This very impersonal medium has opened hearts, given support, soothed pains, held hands, gave hope, grew friendships, eased loneliness and brought smiles. It's like a backyard fence--where we stand and chat with our neighbors. Other times it's like a window without curtains where we can peer into the lives of others--undetected but not unwelcome. Who would have thunk it?

There are millions of people--just like me--who talk to people whose names we do not know and whose faces we may never see. We share our lives by pounding on a keyboard from lone computers in places far and wide. It's a place where I tell you I am having a very bad day or a very good day. It's a place where you tell me a story or share a secret or tell me how much I matter to your day. While I sit here, staring at a screen, it all happens.

But, let's just say..for today....I invited you over for a nice glass of lemonade and a little chit chat. Well, for starters....lemonade? No, of course not. Lemonade with a little vodka. We will sit on my comfy front porch....because that's where I can smoke my contraband cigarettes. And we will chit chat.
Here's my chit.....
-I'm watching my neighbor's flowers slowly die. I'm supposed to be watering them while they are away but I'm just too damn exhausted at the end of the day to do it.
-I am going to the Country Living Fair in Columbus in September and I'm pretty excited about it.
-My tan is fading and it's pissing me off.
-My labwork came back the other day and things are the best they've ever been. Yep, no more meds. I guess this Lapband thing is doing it's job.
-I hauled Carmen's recliner out of the house. Yep, I put it in the U-haul and drove it several hours away. He can't ever bring it back. I gave it to Vince. I'm so much happier with it gone. I always hated that thing. He's not too happy about it but life goes on.
-I'm starting to worry that I'm finding ways to work around my Lapband. Now that it's been a part of me for a year, I know what works and what doesn't. I know that crunchy foods do much better than breads and starches. I have to be extra careful not to fall into another food trap! Hey, would you like some chips to go with that lemonade?
-We're doing lots of college trips for Toni this Fall. She's excited so I'm excited. They will be nothing like those college trips with Vince---where we fought on every campus we visited. This will be fun.
-Carmen is "putting up" tomatoes this weekend with his family. Not that he is all that into tomato making. It just comes with the rite of birth.
-We're doing some school shopping for Toni today. How fun will that be? Maybe I'll even get some back to school duds myself! I can feel my bank card groaning already.....
-How unbelievable is it that I am going to be 50 in 5 months? Fifty. Five-O. A couple years back, I confided in my girls-on-the-town friends that I was thinking of getting high (yeah, that's right) for my 50th. Little did I know they've been working on making that happen. So, if you have a left over roach clip, could you bring it over next time you drop by for a chat?
-Speaking of getting high....I am so in love with those energy shots from Starbucks. Everytime I go into a Starbucks I try to convince the person behind the counter to sell me a few. Last week I did score a few from a cute guy out at the Barnes & Noble Starbucks at the mall. I better go back and see if he can hook me up again.
-So, I'll tell ya, I'm really feeling this whole growing up thing with the kids. Vince off at grad school, Toni becoming a senior. Now what? I mean....NOW WHAT? I'm pretty sure I have to keep my job for a while longer even though it's loosing it's appeal these days. Things might change but probably not for a while yet. The Camelot that once was where I spent my days has turned into a whole other place--over night. Yeah, I'd tell you all about it if I could but I can't talk about it much--it hurts my heart and my head. I don't want to spoil our lovely chat. And, I'm trying to make the best of it since the kids may be out of the door but they are not out of our pocketbooks. Which, to be quite honest, is okay. It's what I signed up for when I joined the parenthood club.
-Do you think I should get a whole new hairstyle? I'm feeling really common these days. Wonder what I could do to throw a little action into my look. The length? The color? The style? Maybe I need a whole makeover. Is it time to leave the Estee Lauder counter and go over to MAC? Maybe I need something edgier. 50 year old edgey. Rocker suburbanite middle-aged-who-doesn't-look-it sexy siren Martha Stewartish mixed up with eclectic zany intellect. I'm thinking Susan Sarandon. Oh my God...remember the movie "The Banger Sisters"? Yes, that's what I'm thinking....
-It's hard to believe the summer is over. It's been a good one. I mean, there was some shit stuff among the good stuff. But, I think the good stuff outweighed the shit stuff. The fact that I'm almost 80 pounds lighter kind of helps me cast a much brighter light on the things that weren't so great. If nothing else, I did some really wonderful shoe shopping this summer. Maybe it's a good thing that I'm shallow like that.
-I'm in the mood for a rock 'n roll concert. We didn't do one concert this summer at all. I just could not make it to Tom Petty. As much as I love that concert, the trip out there on a work night has taken it's toll on me after all these years. Yeah, my sister and her kids went and the traffic situation was exactly the same as it always was. I think I need a major rock n roll fix. Do you want me to bring my CDs out on the porch and we can blast some Bruce?
-Dinners are becoming a huge pain in my ass. It's mostly because every meal has to be an event at my house. How did I ever get to that point? I know some families that settle for cereal for dinner. It's not that they are poor. It's just that whoever is the cook in the house is too damn tired to think of what to cook and too damn tired to cook it and clean up afterwards. Part of it is my fault, I guess. I mean, I do love to cook and come up with recipes. But, not every damn night for crying out loud! And, I'll admit it-- I got into this goofy competition with myself on how many ways I can make chicken. Now, there's always lots of excitement about what I will do with it. I need to find a way out of that tradition! And, let's not even talk about the clean up and the dishes. I mean, to prepare a gourmet meal, you have to make a huge mess. At least I do. So, every single night of the week, I'm stuck in that damn kitchen for hours on end. And that's after a full day of working at my paying job! No wonder I dread the thought of dinner every night....
-I saw in a magazine that the Annie Hall look is coming back. I loved that look! The sort of funked-up menswear look. You know, Diane Keaton is one of my all time favorites. She just makes me smile. I love her style, her look, her personality. Gosh, I'd love to be her. Maybe I should aim for her style. What do you think? But, she is so damn thin. And she has longer legs than me. But, gosh, I love her.
-Ooooh....speaking of movies--did you see Mama Mia? Wasn't that delightful? Yeah, I know...Pierce Bronsan was a bit oddly cast...he looked really dopey singing. But, he's easy on the eyes. And so was the scenery! Wasn't that a fun movie? I think Meryl Streep is a gem. She is just super talented. I think I want to go see that movie again.
-Have you read the book "Skinny Bitch"? Toni and I bought it one night at Barnes and Noble when we were just bored to tears. I've flipped through it but haven't read it....yet. It became the rage after it was spotted in Posh Spice's hand. And, speaking of Posh...do you think her husband is all that good looking? What am I missing here? I really am not all that into him. He's just not my type, I guess. But, naturally, I'd let him eat crackers in my bed....if he asked. And, of course, if Carmen was sound asleep....
-I really want the wallpaper down in my kitchen and I want the cabinets painted and distressed. Carmen pretends he doesn't hear me. But, I'm going to do it. I really am. You just watch me!
-I realize you have to go soon...don't let me hold you up. Unless, of course, you'd like another glass of lemonade?

What's your chat?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good Morning Judi!!! well I dont have lemonade but I have a good cup of tea trying to wake up at work at 6 a.m.!!! I loved "our" chat, very nice conversation I must say!! though I prefer country music (yeah I know...sorry!!) but I could deal with some rock-n-roll too!! I am 8 hours away from my one and only vacation (nothing planned) so that would kick it off pretty good!!

My husband (of all people!!) bought both of those "skinny bitch" books.....his sister recommended them...they are all obsessed with their weight (due to living with a mother who ALWAYS was dieting)...I just cant live that way...I need my preservatives, LOL not much healthy food for me!!

And about dinner, I would have a family meeting and declair that it will slowly come to change and have that freakin' bowl of cereal for dinner!!!! (or pancakes, yum!!)
Thank God I never became a good cook, I mean, I can cook if I REALLY have to but I usually just throw something together. As long as their bellies are full that is all that matters....and since I am forced to work full time because my DH doesnt make enough money, well that is what happens...I am too tired to cook an elaborate meal!! My husband has learned to not fight me on this!! he never complains!!

Anyhoo....thanks for this chat, it really brightened up my day since it just started...maybe it will be a good one!!

Jill G.

Anonymous said...

OMG Judi!
You MUST be downing those energy shots! I am reading this and thinking that THIS is just the way Judi talks in real life! It's Judi on speed on her blog! Exactly! Too funny! LOVE IT! You really HAVE to get a new career babe! You missed the boat a long time ago with this talent of yours. I think anyone who reads this blog can tell you that!
Here is my chat
*I had to travel for work for 2 weeks (ugh)
*Went out with Mr. Wonderful for 3 dates and decided he was Mr. Asshole. Find me a man! If anyone is listening to me chatting here feel free to find me a man too.
*I am thinking of moving to the condo that opened up 2 floors up because it is bigger but a little more $$$. I should get your opinion on the place because it needs some updating and decorating help (stuck in the 80's MAUVE!)
*I am going to stay at my cousin's place in Erie next weekend. We are doing Cedar Point and may go over to Putin Bay on Sunday-Monday. We are both man hunting.
*This weekend I am care shopping and man hunting.
call me so we can really chat!
love you!
Jen

Eileen, The Mayor, or Francine, depending on my mood and night of the week. said...

When your daughter is off to college next year, you'll have to actually start talking to the only person left in the house, your husband. Maybe you can start dating and he can take you out to dinner a few times a week!
It sneaks up on you through the years, but before you know it, you'll be dusting the stove just like all other useless objects in your house.
Yawn........stretch.......been nice chattin' with you, gotta get going now. have a nice weekend.

Gerry said...

Judi,
Each blog is so great! For those faithful Judi blog readers...those Chai Latte with an energy shot had me jittery. I often wondered how you found the energy! But they are good as hell.

I am one of those people that eat cereal for supper. You know my work schedule and, good thing there are such a variety of cereal.

Judi, I think you would look great as a red head! You would be even look more like your dad's Irish daughter.

Lastly, I miss our meetings on your front porch. It was a sanctuary for me.

Gerry

Ashley said...

well the girl i worked bought it thinking it was going to be a fun book when in actuality it's just about becoming a vegan.(not fun) it did have some interesting things in it, but probably not what you expected. keep up the good work!!! see you next weekend!

love
Ashley

Ashley said...

well the girl i worked bought it thinking it was going to be a fun book when in actuality it's just about becoming a vegan.(not fun) it did have some interesting things in it, but probably not what you expected. keep up the good work!!! see you next weekend!

love
Ashley

Jody V said...

I absolutely love your blog!! You have a brilliant mind. My chat?? HMM..school shopping for boys is not much fun but easy....work has been okay lately and it pays the bills. I want to be in a size 14 so bad that I am actually joining a gym. I also have a fill scheduled for 9/4. I get so scared over something that doesn't hurt. I need to really curb my spending and pad my bank account. I really want to do that. I would love some vodka in my lemonade. How did you know?! August 27th is my bandiversary. I am feeling funny about it. I haven't lost what I wanted to but I am glad I lost. Tomorrow we are having a huge party for hubby and Nick's bday and my bandiversary. Hectic as hell but it will be fun. Plus, my friends will bring me gifts as well. I do love gifts!! Well, gotta go and start cooking for tomorrow. Same time next week?