A fancy cape and a shiney tiara.....you could save the whole world.......

Some pom-poms and a cute little sweater and you could save just one person's world....




It's tiring....this saving the world stuff. But, that's what I do. I'm either swooping in to save the day or standing on the sidelines trying to save the moment. I'm just not good with suffering, misery, discontent, unhappiness, pain, negativity or any of that other unpleasant shit. I don't like it for me and I don't like it for people I love and care about. I am always certain there's an answer to every problem, a method to sooth each pain and a way to overcome any obstacle. Not only do I believe it. I insist that others do the same. I won't give up until they do. I'm fairly certain I can be very annoying that way. I won't get into political debates or discussions on religion and I won't even bother converting anyone's beliefs--no matter how crazy they may be. But, tell me that your life sucks and you don't think you can deal with something and I'm in there wrestling with you, trying to change your mind and helping you to look at things another way. I'm not just optimistic, I'm annoyingly optimistic. And, I know it. But, I'm not optimistic just for optimism's sake. Having said that, however, I do know there's factual documentation based on real, hard core studies done by really smart people that credit optimism as being a factor in living longer and healthier. (Geez....who wouldn't want that....right? Well, maybe negative people wouldn't.) So, being optimistic does make good sense in terms of celebrating more birthdays. And, hell, I do enough other things that are said to cut life short (contraband cigarettes...). So, maybe if I'm an all-the-time optimist/sometime smoker, things will even out. But, that's not what I'm here to talk about.

Like I said, negativity is not a Judi thing. But, I'm not this way just because I prefer to be a sunny, happy person (although,let's face it....it's a much better look). The optimism that I possess and the optimism I try to force feed everyone else is rooted in absolute fact. Everyday, I witness the good things in life and watch as people meet their challenges, slay their dragons and deal with the hands they are dealt. And I see...firsthand...that bad things will happen, things will not go the way you want them to go and there's lots of unfairness. Yet, I also see that these are not catastrophes or tragedies---unless people allow them to morph into them. I preach "big picture" and "count your blessings" and "this too will pass". I dissuade hopelessness and downward spirals. Not because I believe in denial but because I believe in hope. Just as one bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch baby, one bad day or one bad situation doesn't turn your whole life into misery. We can all pick ourselves up and go on.

Just like everyone else, I do have bad days. Yes, I even have shitfuck days. And, I bitch and moan just like the rest of the world. But, I have evidence that things will be okay. Time has proven to me that I can get through this stuff. I do come out the other end. Whether it be the grace of God or my own perseverance or the support and love of others or just dumb luck--I have weathered storms, I have lived to see another day, I have seen the sunshine. Call it what you will. But in the end--I survived and found a reason to smile. It's my experience that even the bad moments end. Even the bad luck turns around. And, even the worst possible day can be followed by the best. Life goes in waves. Little waves, big waves and monster waves. A bad day--a little wave. A bad year--a bigger wave. A bad decade--a much bigger wave. A string of bad things is just that--a string of bad things. It's not the end of the world, it's not the end of what's important and it's definitely not a predictor of the rest of my life. Yeah, yeah, I know--I make it sound so simple and sort of idealistic. Maybe simple and idealistic is not so bad. Maybe it's okay. I really don't know. But, what I do know is this--negativity clutters our minds, drains our energies and puts roadblocks between us and the matter at hand. It does not solve any problems. It just makes more. It does not eliminate what plagues us, it just compounds it. Negativity is a power that seeps into our hearts, our minds and our souls. It zaps our ability to move beyond the fog and into the light. It only hurts us. It never helps us.

Solving problems and being met with adversity is...at the very heart of it....the springboard for all good inventions and solutions. Take my Lap band as an example. Damn, I was sick and tired of being fat. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired. But, I couldn't solve the problem. Diets only worked for so long. Starvation wasn't fun. And, I wanted to eat good food. I didn't want to live a life of deprivation, aching for a plate of nachos. I wanted to wear nice clothes and great shoes and look good. I wanted to get up in the morning and feel hopeful...and be able to get out of bed! I wanted to be pretty and maybe even sexy. I wanted to wear jeans. I wanted to look in the mirror and not return to my closet or my make up table one more time---just to try to get it right. I wanted to turn over in bed. I wanted to shave my legs in the shower. I wanted to live life as a thinner person. But, it wasn't going so well. In fact, it wasn't going at all. However, as awful as all of that was--I had a good guy who loved me, 2 beautiful smart kids who I adored, 2 sisters who I could not imagine living without, an entire family of loving, wonderful, sometimes quirky but mostly normal people who gave me joy and a tremendous assortment of the most supportive, sassy, smart, fun and incredibly talented friends on this earth. It wasn't all bad. I was fat but I was loved and I was surrounded by good vibes. Yes, somedays it was hard to see past the fat part but I worked at it...sometimes I had to work really hard at it. Then....along came my Lap Band. The rest is history.....

And, of course...there's more. More examples of how lousy things can get and how dire situations can seem. But, I won't go into all of that. I'm not unique in the fact that I have had heartbreaks and sadness and hurt and madness and misery. And, I know that. I can name 20 people in the next 10 seconds who have had the same. But, I can also name those same 20 people (in the next 10 seconds, of course) as people who are still walking, talking, loving and moving on.

It's pretty easy to get caught up in our own misery and despair. It's even easier to get caught up in it when you feel very alone. It's easy to take one problem and allow it to cast a palor of darkness on your entire life--your entire being. At that point, it doesn't take much to imagine your current situation as being your present and your future and your forever. And, when you are feeling that way....negativity is easy. Optimism is hard. And giving up is not an option. So, what do you do? You call me. And, if I don't answer....you call on you. You can don a cape or shake a few pom poms just as good (possibly better!) as me. I'm sure of it.