Well, fuck them!
I'm just having a hell of a time today. In every aspect of my not-so-ordinary life things are rather shitty. I know it's only temporary. I bounce back rather easily. But, for the moment, I feel like living in the moment....no matter how lousy the moment is. And, I'm feeling sorry for myself. And, every so often, my thoughts turn marytrish (YIKES!). Not good at all. I'd explain it all but then I'd just get upset again. Before you know it, I'd raid my freezer for a contraband cigarette. So, I'm not going to share my current misery. It was probably just a bad day all the way around. I was feeling overwhelmed at times, useless at others and underloved in general. Plus, I had the added pain of being amongst people who were not being very nice. Yes, I know, I have to quit expecting people to be nice. I have to wake up every morning and remind myself of that. I despise the idea of starting each day like that. Hell, I'd rather say "Hello gorgeous! Today is another beautiful day!" But, using today as a yardstick, I fear the only way for me to get through my days is to remind myself there are bitches and bastards among us. Oh, maybe I'm just cranky. I got to bed late last night because I had to wait for my bachelor neighbor to go to bed so that Toni and I could steal the perfectly good sofa that he put out for trash (for Vince's grad school pad) and drag it across the street. (Can't wait until Carmen sees how I tore up his beloved lawn.) Or, maybe I'm just hungry. I got a nice fill in my band yesterday....which means that it's liquids and mush for me for awhile. Or, perhaps I'm just feeling a little blue. Vince is packed up....we've been moving him. This coming weekend will be the final trip. As much as I want him to go off and chase his dreams and find his place in the world, I am going to miss him terribly. My son--the Doctor (not of the healing kind!). And, then there's Toni. In 2 weeks, she will be a high school senior. My dear, sweet little darling daughter. I am still back in grade school with her. It's all closing in on me. Everything.
But, you know what? Today I fit into a rockin' black tiered skirt that I bought a few months back. And, I wore my smokin' hot "Sex & The City" shoes and a new pair of look at me earrings--zebra striped. As shitfuck as the day was, I looked fuckinfabulous.