This is not my time........

.......to worry about the insignificant things in life.  

Those days are long past.

It's my time to give unto others---to lovingly share, to care deeply, to genuinely support, to offer  gentle guidance, to sincerely promote, to kindly open the doors to pathways... ....to pay it forward.

It's probably my most selfish way of living yet.  
I want to derive the greatest joy and pleasure from watching others benefit from what I give to them.    

In my teens and twenties the world was about me......how far I could get, how much I could win, what more I could do, how much I could be rewarded, what I wanted, what I loved, who I wanted and who I wanted to love me.  .
In my thirties and forties, the world was about my marriage, my children, my career....and me.
And, now.....in my fifties, the world is about giving back for the generosity life has given me.
You see, I figure...it's just nature's way of making the world a better place to live.
At some point, we miraculously  drop all the needs and wants and desires of our younger days and embrace the joy that comes from watching others enjoy their younger days.....
If everyone was all about the me-me-me then there would be no mentors in the world or no true guides for a future filled with opportunities to give the me-me-me generation (who, by the way, deserve to be me-me-mers....for a little while).
It's not that I don't care......it's just that I really don't care about many of the things I thought I would always care about.  
Perhaps that's why I laugh in the face of performance reviews at work or giggle to myself when I walk through the self-help section of the bookstore or stay clear of people who want to help me become a better person or a better professional or a better whatever.
Perhaps that's why I always buy the shoes.

Today, my dear mother would be 94 years old.
I've spent 40 years being the motherless daughter of a woman who gave me and a throng of other folks what we needed to live in a world without her in it. 
Now, it's my turn to give the people I love and care about what they need to live in a world without me in it.
This is gonna take some time.  

Happy Birthday Mom!