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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Year 3 was a hard act to follow!

I found myself gliding into Year Four of my Lapbanded life in a pants size that I only had fantasies about.  I was ready to greet Fab Four head-on!
But, to be honest---I was more than terrified at what was ahead. 
There I an unprecedented new low--weight-wise--wearing pants in the single digits and determined to keep it that way. 

I was thrilled beyond belief that somehow, someway, I found myself at the corner of am I too thin? and nothing tastes as good as thin feels.  I could not believe that I was the woman I saw in the mirror each day!  And, even more importantly, I felt better than a 50+ year old woman has a right to feel. 
Yes, I was strutting my stuff and damn happy to be doing it. 
 And, did I mention that I was 5 pounds BELOW my goal weight?
It was a dream come true, an unbelievable time in my life and damn, I had lost 115 pounds! 
Yet, there I was....shaking in my darling shoes!
So, what was the problem? 
I'll tell you what the problem was......
Did I ever tell you that I have a long history of losing weight only to gain it all back?
Yeah, I was the queen of being thin for a millasecond. 
Was my millasecond up?
Would I be able to maintain this weight loss?
Or, would I do as I had done so many times before and gain it all back now that the weight loss fun was over and  I had to do the mysterious work of keeping it off?
My Lapband was filled to capacity.....which meant that I could not go back and get it filled anymore.
I didn't want to lose any more weight.
I didn't want to gain any weight.
Somewhere deep inside of me, I was starting to panic.
And, oh yeah, did I mention that I was pretty Lapband savvy by this point?
I was very aware that I could not eat a pound of pasta but a vat of mashed potatoes and a pound of good chocolate would work out just fine.
It was the kind of knowledge that pretty dangerous. 
So, yeah....Lapband Year Four was daunting.....
September  2010-These  2 picture even stopped me in my tracks....was this really ME? Would I always look this thin?  Will I always be able to wear these pants?

By December 2010, I was beginning to realize that I could do this....I could keep the weight off....even the holidays weren't going to stop me from keeping my dream alive!
By January 2011, I was still fitting in my jeans.....I considered that a good thing. 

By March green hair returned, my clavicle was visible and my jeans were still zipping.  I figured my Irish luck was still going strong.
By May, I was starting to feel like "yeah, maybe I'm learning to live like a thin girl...."
By July 2011, I was head over heels to fit into a Size 6 dresses.....

By August 2011.....when I celebrated by 4th Bandiversary....I looked back at how the year began and wondered why I was so worried.....

Come on back and I'll share with you how things are going in YEAR 5......
HINT:  I'm my millasecond FINALLY over THIS YEAR?


Kathy said...

I am so happy for you Judi. What an awesome feeling that must be. Keep up the good work.

Jody V said...

I was so glad to share this journey with you!!


Lisa said...

You are such an inspiration! You are a role model and will continue to be in Year 5, 6, 7, and onward!! Beautiful photos!

Darlin1 said...

Thanks soooo much for sharing! You are an inspiration!

Tina @ The Bandit Girl said...

being that I am over give me immeasurable hope! Thank you for taking your time to share!