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Friday, January 28, 2011

Socially acceptable eating.......


this is what I am thinking about today.


Let me set the scene....
A business luncheon.
Seven corporate-y NYC types---we were hosting them for the day.
Three of my colleagues.
Me.
The Faculty Club--a buffet style, clubby type of place filled with academic types, educators, corporate partners, etc.
I am the last one to come to the table.
I sit across from a colleague who I just met for the first time and who was the lead host on the visit. She was very nervous that it would go just right. Afterall, these NYC corporate-y types were a big deal....to her.
On my tray is a small scoop of tuna salad, 2 cucumber slices, a cup of yogurt with 2 strawberry slices and a glass of iced tea.
Everyone else's trays were piled high with salads, rolls, main courses, pies, cakes.....well, you get the picture.

Ms. Corporate-y NYC Type #1 looks at my tray and asks "eating light today?"
Ms. Corporate-y NYC Type #2 glances over and says "looks like you are the only one who doesn't splurge! We should all be ashamed for eating so much!"
Ms. New Colleague Who I Just Met For the First Time gave me a quasi-stern look over the rim of her glasses.
I just smiled at everyone, made a quick reference to possibly going out to dinner later and left it at that.
A few moments later, Ms. Corporate-y NYC Type #1 begins talking about her personal trainer and how mortified he would be to see her eat so many calories. "But, he doesn't get it..." she mused "on expense account-will eat!"
Ms. Corporate-y NYC Type #2 chimed in. "Personal trainers don't eat, that's why he would be mortified!"
To which Ms. Corporate-y NYC Type #1 quipped "And they don't have expense accounts!"
Ms. New Colleague Who I Just Met For the First Time tried to corral the group back to talking "business" instead of lamenting over their bad eating habits.
But, that didn't last too long.
Upon noticing my plate of food for the first time, Mr. Coporate-y NYC Type #1--one of the males in the bunch--asked "is THAT ALL you are eating?"
Once again, I smiled and said I was going out to dinner later.
"SO ARE WE!!" he said with a very animated shrug of his shoulders.
My food consumption was making my lunch guests uncomfortable.
I could feel it in my bones.
Ms. New Colleague Who I Just Met For the First Time once again glared at me from the across the table.
I was feeling beads of sweat beginning to form on the back of my neck.
Why didn't I just get a full plate of food? I thought to myself.
But, what would I do with all the food I couldn't eat?
Throw it away?
That didn't seem very right.
Eat it?
Then vomit at the table?
I was caught between a morale dilemna and a professional dilemna and a Lapband dilemna.
And, it didn't feel good.
Miss Manners for Lapbanders....where are you when I need you?
I just knew what Ms. New Colleague Who I Just Met For the First Time was thinking.
She thought that I was being insensitive to our guests by not eating--thus making them feel badly about themselves.
And, I was right.....that is exactly what she was thinking.
How do I know?
She told me so.
Yes, just like that, as everyone was getting their coats together, she coyly leaned over the table and said in an agitated tone "next time, you might want to eat a bit more food.....okay?"
Sure, I could have punched her right there.
But, that didn't seem too socially acceptable.

5 comments:

Alison said...

What a cow! She sounds like a complete control freak.

Jody V said...

Whoa Judi....did you reply? This same thing happened to me. It is so uncomfortable!! I pass on a lot of plans because of this. It's not worth the aggrevation.

Jody

alycejo said...

oh my gosh I was so angry when I read this!
How rude! You don't need to explain yourself to everyone, why must they been so interested in your eating habits
I just read this to my sister and she said she would have slapped that lady real hard (well not literally but she would have said something to her!)
You're really strong to not have said anything in return to that stupid comment!

Band Groupie said...

I say punch her in her muffin top!

Have fun out!! You look marvelous!

I'm down at Magee on 2/17 for a doc appt. at 10:15am...shoot me an email if you can get out for lunch that day...or I can make another excuse to come down another time...now that DD's down there I'm getting more familiar with the city ;-)

Here we go....

Shaggs said...

Ho - rrendous!!! So even what you eat is owned by "the man"! I have learnt the subtle of art of pretending to eat but yes it can involve food wastage but mostly just a whole lot of pushing food around your plate and palming it off to others. Damned if you do damned if you dont cant win! People need to start worrying about themselves and not focus so much energy on others and how others "make" them feel! Good luck lovely!