As you can see from my ticker, I am quite a ways from my ultimate goal of loosing 100 pounds. My original plan was to lose those 100 lbs in 1 year. Statistically speaking, I probably won't be able to do that. Yes, I'm sad that I am not going to be able to do what I said I would . But, I have to face the music at some point...right? I guess I could live on lettuce, grapefruit and water for the next 4 months and become addicted to exercise. But, that's not going to happen. I'm way beyond that these days. It doesn't sound like fun at all. And, it doesn't make any sense. Maybe 5 years ago, I'd willingly go on some crazy diet. But, no more. Been there. Done that. And, we all know where that got me.
Here's the thing----if you do the math, I'm loosing at the rate of about 7.75 pounds per month. Even with my remedial math skills, I realize that the most I can hope for is another 30 lbs by August. And, considering that I lost the vast majority of weight in the very beginning, loosing another 30 pounds in the next few months might be really pushing it. So, I am going to be kind with myself. I am going to let myself off the hook. Considering that I gained close to 100 pounds in 8 years---even though I was on every diet known to mankind during that time period---I suppose it's going to take a while to shed it...right? I can't expect immediate gratification. That's okay.
When I was at the doctor's last week, she said that I'm right on target with my weight loss. Sure, there are people who are loosing much faster. And, there are people whose weight loss is much slower. But, she's pleased with my progress and felt very positive about my ability to continue to lose weight. And, when faced with the decision to tighten my band or not, we both agreed that I'd hold off on having it done until after I get back from the cruise. I shocked myself that I was so perfectly agreeable with that decision! I mean, I didn't even think twice about it......even when I walked out the door. I was at peace with the fact that I didn't do it just for the sheer fact that I could. I felt all grown up and mature that I made a decision based on good reason rather than give into my impatient nature. Can you imagine.....when I was faced with the choice of loosing weight faster or not, I chose the "not" road? Wow. Now, that' a milestone. After thinking about it, I realized that the reason why I felt so at peace with the decision is because I am no longer obsessed with loosing weight and diets. And, more importantly, I know that even though I am not where I want to be, I know I'm going to get there. There's no doubt in my mind. My lapband gave me hope and it helped me to believe in me. Gone is the Judi who started diets every Monday morning hoping to loose 10 lbs in one week..... only to loose hope by Tuesday at noon.
Trust me, I am not trying to cop out here when I say I am probably not going to lose 100 lbs by August 10, 2008. No. No. No. I'm just trying to realistic. The funny thing is that I don't care as much as I thought I would. Yes, I'd love to be all thin and sexy and wearing a size 10 and basking in the glory of completing my task. In all honesty, I'm so happy to feel like a normal person right now, I'd be okay if I had to go on like this forever! But, I probably can't. Go on like this forever.....I mean. Why not? Well.....I have NO idea how to maintain a weight. So, therein lies another journey. But, we won't worry about that now, will we? I still have about 40 or so pounds to go on this journey before I have to travel that road. Maintenance Road. That's a whole new blog.