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Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Good Girls Go to Heaven......Bad Girls GO Everywhere!

I am on my third day of not practicing safe eating. And, it has been gloriously delicious. Delectable. Juicy. Spicey. Sweet. Lip smackin'. Tongue tingling. And, it feels oh so naughty! We're talking pasta, salad, grilled cheese and even licorice. Yes, I'm eating it all. And, I'm not stopping there. I plan to continue this provocative and promiscuous behavior. That's right, my days of demure soup eating is behind me. I will eat what I cook for my family. I will not shy away from any restaurant or party or picnic or holiday feast. I'm going to proudly (and loudly!) order from menus......"yes, that's right, stud waiter, I am going to have the shrimp cocktail.....". And, I'm going to stop being the world's least favorite dinner guest. That's right.....I will no longer send my generous and kind hosts and hostesses into mental breakdowns wondering what they can serve that will fit through my Lapband. I am going to uncondition my family. No longer will they have to accommodate my Lapband. I will tell them to throw caution to the wind and serve whatever they want! Yes, I am going to be bold and brave and oh so bad. I'm going to go everywhere and eat everything. And, you know what else I am going to do? Eat crackers in bed. Yes, that's right. In fact, I might even smuggle in some cheese too.

Have I gone mad? Have I abandoned my Lapband? No, friends. I've finally seen the light. Heard the bell. Got it. Figured it out. And, all that jazz. My Lapband is here to stay. It's part of my body.....just like my arm. It's part of me and my life. So, I'm going to embrace my Lapband. I finally figured out something very profound. And, I want you to be the first to know. So, here it is......drum roll please......I did not get my Lapband so I can spend the rest of my life figuring out what I can eat that can slide through it. No. I got my Lapband so I could stop eating so much. NOT EATING SO MUCH REGULAR FOOD. Not just mushy food. Or pulverized food. Or liquid-y food. Regular, everyday food. Normal food. The food that everybody else is eating. Of course, I'm a wee bit embarrassed that it's taken me this long....almost 7 figure this out. But, what's 7 months when I have the rest of my life? Now that I'm filled with this knowledge-- it's back to the business of living.....tastefully. No more pasta fears. No more restaurant panic. No more 5 days of soup for lunch. This is all about food. It always was and it always will be. HELLO PASTA!!!!!!!!

The plan is this--- I'm going to eat until I am full. And, I finally found out what the measurement of "lapband full" is---it's not so much:
Pasta: 3 fork twirls
Taco: 3 bites
Licorice: 4 "nibs"
Grilled Cheese: 3 bites

Sure, I may slip up. But, I know how to get back on
the rocket and ride again.......

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yay grilled cheese!