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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Time to get back to business......


Lapband business that is......

So, today I am going in for a Lapband adjustment. What this entails is having saline withdrawn from the port (with a big needle) that I have placed in my stomach and then having it refilled with just a tad more saline to tighten up my band just a little bit more. I promise...it's nowhere near as bad as it sounds. The key is to get a good technician to do it. For a few months, I had Rachael. As much as I liked her as a person, she and my port just didn't get along so well. So, my adjustment appointments were unpleasant for both of us. She'd be sweating and apologizing and digging into my stomach. I'd be laying on that table doing Hail Marys, feeling nauseated, miserable and agitated...not to mention in pain. There were moments that I just wanted to haul off and belt her. Poor Rachael...she would try so hard and apologize incessantly. I knew she felt bad about it all. And, since I could not help her,I felt completely out of control. A feeling I don't like! Yes, I'm a control freak. I admit it! The whole experience was difficult. There were times when I thought there had to be something wrong with me. And, of course, she was upset that she just couldn't get it right. So, yes, it was all pretty nasty. She knew it. I knew it. But, we just didn't want to break up. After all, I knew all about her family and she knew all about mine. I didn't want to miss another chapter of what was happening in her life and she always had something interesting to add to our discussions. But, it got the best of us. It was bad. She was the first to speak up. She told me that she just could no longer adjust me. I hated to be unfriendly and all but I just had to agree. A few weeks later, after I had been assigned to another technician, I ran into Rachael. We exchanged friendly chatter--catching each other up on our lives. It was nice. Unlike our other visits...when the conversation was great but the pain was becoming intolerable. It was then that she confessed that as much as she enjoyed talking with me, she would dread my appointments. I had to admit...I felt exactly the same way. We both laughed over it all and wished each other well---knowing that our break up was for the best. So, now I'm with Kelly. She is pleasant and chatty....in fact, she even recommended a new restaurant for our trip to NC and I gave her some recommendations on family friendly cruises. We've exchanged a few emails and she called me once or twice to check on some recipes I had told her about. That's how friendly we became. And, she and my port became fast friends too. My adjustments are mildly uncomfortable...if that. Some adjustments happen while we're in the throes of conversation...I don't even know they occur. Just like everything else in life.....the right fit makes all the difference. Many times, in life, we hesitate to change something for fear we'll hurt someone or make things worse. But, staying with someone or something that's just not working at all is a poor choice. It's a tough lesson to learn. Unless it involves a really big needle....

Back to mushy foods for me for awhile. No big deal. Like they say....nothing tastes as good as thin feels. Or so they say.

3 comments:

Jody V said...

Oh Judi -
I opened your blog today and a BIG CHILL ran down my spine seeing that needle!! I just had one but I must say that my surgeon does them himself and he is always on the money (and cute too ;-)). Good luck today. I still think I need to be tighter and I see him early October. We will have to chat.

Jody

Daffodil Hill said...

So glad you found the right fit! The whole process sounds painful to me. :o You are certainly right about allowing ourselves to make choices that fit rather than holding onto things that no longer work for us. There are sure to be some major changes coming in my life, though I don't yet know what they are. The life I loved is gone, so I must embrace the future and see where it leads.

Jody V said...

Hope your adjustment went well today. We can do this!! I am definitely following your lead! Remember, it's all about the jeans!

Jody