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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Welcome to the keyboard confessional.......clicking your way to forgiveness

"There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel that no one else has a right to blame us. It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution," Oscar Wilde wrote...

This blogging thing has brought me many unexpected experiences, pleasant interactions and interesting situations. Yet, there's one outcome that has caught me completely off guard. It's the many emails I get from folks like you and me who are struggling with weight loss, possibly considering weight loss surgery or have just lost their way in life. Often times, after reading an email, I find myself thinking "why are they telling me this?" Soon, I realize that it's because I'm here. I'm dealing with life. Just like them. I'm dealing with kids, not enough time, weight, my job, my husband, my family and everything that goes with it. And so are they. They come to my blog as a respite from their own day--to be entertained or enlightened or maybe even surprised. And who do they find? They find me--Judi. So, whether it's 9 am or 2pm or 3 am, I am here....talking away! And, I'm not all that unusual in that I have challenges and problems and issues and heartbreaks and well as successess and happiness and joy and love. The only difference between me and them is that I blog and they read my blog. I blog about what's on my mind or what's going on in my world. Essentially, I'm talking to everyone who reads it. And, come to think of it--because my life can get so busy and I typically blog when my housemates are either sound asleep or not around--I may actually tell my blog readers something that's on my mind or what's going on in my world or maybe what I'm thinking about that I didn't even tell the people I live with! I mean...ask Carmen or Toni how much weight I lost and I'll bet you at least 10 bucks that neither of them would get within 10 pounds of the actual number. But, ask my blog readers (or my father) and everyone knows! Why? Because I tell you! So, I get it! I know why people I've never even met....some of them living hundreds of miles away from me.....share things with me that are normally reserved for people they are closest to.
Now, I didn't specifically write about my loyal emailling fan club sooner---well, maybe one or two times in a more general way-- because I wasn't sure how they would feel if I shared any of their stuff. And, I wanted to touch base with a few regular emailers to make sure they felt okay with it. So, I did! Well....not only were they OKAY with it, they were enthusiastic about it, gave me many suggestions on which of their emails to share and what type of posts they would suggest I do in the future! I don't want to dissappoint any of them but I'm not going to share their emails verbatim and I may not get to all of their suggestions. But, what I do want to do is address some of the trends that seem to emerge. I want to get at--what are people talking about, thinking about and wanting to know about and I want to share things that ring familiar with everyone. And, of course, it's always nice to know that we are not alone in some of the thoughts that ravage our minds! So, every once in awhile, I'll dig into my emails and categorize them to share....starting today!
Let's get started...
I'd like to talk about the many CONFESSION emails I get! Yep, you heard it here folks...I'm going to be talking about CONFESSIONS! Now, as any good Catholic knows, if you go to confession and do your penance, all is well with your world. Many blog posts ago, I mentioned that the CONFESSION DIET is not one that I had tried in all my years of dieting. This diet is based on the practice that if you eat something you shouldn't have....if you confess's okay. Thinking back, I'm shocked I never tried that one....considering all my years of Catholic upbringing, schooling and church going. However, it appears that there are many people out there who do use the CONFESSION DIET regularly. How do I know that? Like I said...people tell me. Now, honestly, I am not a numbers person by nature. But, to prove my point....I decided to count how many I ate this confessions I received during the period July 1- September 15 and that number came out to...drum roll please....236 . Confessions ranged from one lovely woman eating an entire bag of double stuffed oreos (yes, it was a very bad day) to another spunky lady devouring an entire basket of chips, 1 order of something she called "the motherload of nachos", 3 margaritas and 2 veggie one sitting (she had just bounced a series of checks that week... clearly, she was having a pretty lousy time of it). So, it got me to thinking.....if the CONFESSION DIET really worked....meaning that if you confessed the "bad things" that you ate and you were forgiven---how many calories would this entail? I decided I'd try to figure it out. Again....I'm not a numbers person. And, I don't have exact amounts of what people ate (i.e.--I'm not sure what a "shitload" of French onion dip is...). But, what the hell? I figured I'd give it a whirl. Granted, it took me awhile to do this (that's why I didn't post to my blog during my early morning hours as usual...I was too busy doing math....oh my!). But, I came up with a number. A pretty big number. A huge number. A shitload number. Even by my very uneducated, conservative estimate. 178,336,000 Yes, friends 178,336,000 calories were confessed via email. Considering that I'm not a priest (nor do I proclaim to be one), technically, I can't absolve any of those calories. However, being a sinner myself....I know that sometimes confession is all we need to make things right.

1 comment:

Eileen, Founder, Organizer, Mayor and Chief Cook And Bottle Washer of the Anger Management Girls. said...

Bless me Judi for I had sinned, it has been 48 hours since my last confession.
The five hot sausage sandwiches I ate through the day were so so good. Thanks for your help. I think you've earned a "Plenary Indulgence"
I'll "Hit the Rail" to say one "Hail Mary" and two "Our Fathers" to help you in loosing that last 20 lbs. And that I didn't find it with the "Key Lime Pie Gellato Cake" that was the best thing I ever ate. It was from that Gellato place on Copeland.
(I know that spellings wrong on gellato, too tired to look it up)