Wednesday, September 3, 2008
When the going gets tough, what do the not-so-tough do?
There comes a point in life when you recognize that you can't really change yourself completely. You can change quite a few things but there are some core things that stay the same. I'm a perfect example. As many times as I have changed my hair, my look, my residence, my weight and even my mind--my inner Judi is still in tact. Sure, I suppose that's a good thing. Even when the deck was stacked against me, I never quite lost myself. I lost my way. I lost my balance. I lost my focus. But, I never lost me.
So, I'm thinking....maybe I'd like to lose Judi. For a little while. Not forever. Perhaps a better way of saying it is that I'd like to tweak a few things. Sort of like how I get my Lapband tigthened up a bit. And, since I've already started down that road---with my Lapband and all--I figure I've got a running start. And, that's all you need. Some momentum. Right?
I know, I know....I'm starting to sound deep and maybe even a little depressing. Hold on. Hold on. Give me a chance to prove those notions wrong.
I want to be a bad ass. That's it. That's what I want. I want to be tough as nails and just a wee bit scarey. You know....someone you would never dream of crossing or disagreeing with. I want to have razor sharp timing and good come backs in response to people and situations that warrant them. I want to be one of those women who get what they need, what they want, when they need it and how they want it. I don't want to be vulnerable or hurtable. And, I don't want to care as much about the people and the places that don't care about me. Yeah, I'll be nice to who I want to be nice to. But, not to the people I don't want to be nice to. A complete bad ass. Oh...and let's not forget a bad ass with bad ass shoes. Noooo.....killer shoes. A bad ass with killer shoes. OOOOH.....a skinny bitch bad ass with killer shoes. Yes, that's what I want to be tweaked to.....
So..dickface...don't mess with this skinny bitch bad ass in the elevator again or I'll get my killer shoes and stomp you into that corner before you can call upon your miserable, poorly coifed bodyguard for help. Yeah, I'm talking to you dickface......
So, how do you think I'm doing so far?