Friday, April 18, 2008
The motion in the ocean.........
Yes, it's true. The U.S. Government finally relented. I have officially been identified as the true red, white and blue American that I am. Just in time for election day too! I had visions of being accosted as I entered the church basement to vote next Tuesday. It's bad enough my son will be cancelling out my vote (unless, of course, I don't remind him it's election day)! But, imagine if I caused a scene at the polls! ("Look, the unidentifiable woman is trying to vote! Get her!"). The best I could hope for would be that they might say how light I was as they carried me out the door. ("Hey Larry, I don't need your help carrying this unidentified woman out.....she is sooo light!") I was ready for it though. I planned on wearing amazing shoes on election day. Just in case I was apprehended and became a suffragette. Can't wear bad shoes in the event I'd become a public spectacle and/or a historical figure. The thought of being handcuffed and dragged off in bad shoes is even worse than being handcuffed and dragged off! Even worse---going down in history....maybe even being pictured on Google or having a video on U-Tube......in bad shoes. My grandchildren, their children and their children would have to live in shame. But, no one has to worry now. Well, unless I get into a scuttlebutt at the poll with my son because he's cancelling out my vote. Lessons learned---wear great shoes no matter what and don't let your kids register to vote.
By now, you probably figured out that my passport arrived! If I didn't need it so badly, I'd send the passport honchos a nasty note to complain about the picture. Oh, it's not good. The guy at the post office who took my picture would not let me wear my sunglasses on my head and he made me take off my really cute necklace and my adorable little jacket. And, he told me not to smile. Can you imagine? No accessories AND no smile? I would like to completely overhaul the entire passport process. But, I'll hold my tongue. No sense in arousing any suspicions about my terroristic tendencies when it comes to how I look in pictures. I'm just going to have to lay low and make sure that I look good in person for sure. Don't want the border patrol to think I'm as plain and dowdy looking as my passport picture makes me out to be. Just in case anyone thinks I have no fashion sense at all, I bought the cutest little gold lamme passport cover. So, even if the picture looks bad, as soon as those customs folks see my sassy little cover, they will know they aren't dealing with some ordinary broad. I'm a Super American. I've been checked and re-checked and double checked. Us complicated folks just take a little longer to figure out!