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Friday, August 31, 2007

Spill it sister........






I wasn't going to approach this subject just quite yet. But, things have escalated to the point that I must. It's about that plaster of Paris image.....you know the one.....the rubenesque image to the left of the screen. Before I begin.....I'd like to know.....just for the record.....how many of you believe that it is a plaster of Paris statue of me? Go ahead, don't be shy....raise your hand.

I have this friend.....who I will call "A". I'm not sure if she is a regular reader of my blog or not. She's a very busy woman with quite a lot on her plate. However, early on, A did read my blog. Soon after, A ran into another friend of mine--who I will identify as "P". So, A asked P if she happened to see the plaster of Paris cast that I had done of my body prior to my surgery. P, being a self-proclaimed computer ditz, knew nothing of it. So, A filled her in--telling her that I had a plaster of Paris cast done of my body and I posted a picture on my blog. P was quite interested in seeing it for herself. So, during one of P's visits, she told me about what A had shared with her and asked to see it.
Then, a few days later, another friend.....who I will call "K", emailed me and asked about the plaster of Paris image. She was very interested in knowing more.
Following that, I heard from another friend---who I will call "J". She too wanted more info.
Then, my darling 21 year old niece mentioned to her mother (my younger sister) that Aunt Judi had some really cute guy do a plaster of Paris cast of her body.
Was I holding out on all of my friends and family?

Now, before I go any further.......let's think about how one would do a cast of one's body. First of all....as you can see.....the cast is of a nude body. Nude. Meaning no clothes were worn during the plastering session. Not that I want to give anyone hot flashes here....but....the scenario we have here is that a really cute guy (who does plaster of Paris casts of overweight women) is spreading goop all over my nude body. And, I mean, all over my body. Yes, there. And, there. And, there too. And, I'm just laying there. While this really cute guy spreads goop all over my body. Now, we won't even discuss why this guy does this. But, for this particular discussion....let's assume that he is part of the bariatric medical team. (An interesting career for a sculptor, I would say) So, there we are---really cute guy and me. He's really cute. I'm nude. And he's spreading goop all over my body. Oh, and since it's his job to make sure to get every nook and cranny of my body---the lights are on. And, yes, I have my eyes open. Because, well, he's really cute. As for the reason why he is doing this instead of just taking a picture of me in all my glory, we'll just assume it's related to the entire process that everyone has to go through. So, given that theory, we must assume that somewhere there are thousands of casts of pre-weight loss surgery bodies just sitting around. Not sure where they would all be housed.....maybe a huge warehouse. I'm quite sure I would not want to go there. But, speaking of a warehouse....if they are all kept somewhere like a warehouse, one would have to assume there would be warehouse workers cataloging them, moving them around, keeping them safe. Now, that might be an interesting career too.

Okay, so.....back to me being nude and a really cute guy spreading goop all over my body. What do you think? The obvious answer, in my mind would be-----it's amazing the cast was ever finished! You know what I mean? I'm nude. He's really cute. He's spreading goop all over my body. I'm human. Okay, I'm not just human. I'm alive. I've got nerve endings just like the rest of the world! Well......is that a plaster of Paris cast of me or not?

Looks like I started a rumor about myself that I'm not ready to confirm or deny. But, for the record.......no matter how overweight or obese a person is......they are no different than anyone else. Nude. Cute guy. Goop. Whether you are a Size 2 or a Size 20......the cast has the same odds of being completed. Now, if you'll excuse me......I have to go and take a very cold shower.....

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Judi,

You have me laughing and sweating at the same time! You wild woman! Looks like the cute guy couldn't finish it! Things got hot before he could do your arms and legs!
You are way to funny not to be famous!

Jenn

Harriet said...

career this, career that. Geez judi, you should think about a career in careers.

peace out.
H