I feel a sin coming on........

Yes, I stole that line. Shhhhhhh. But, as I head into my 1 week bandiversary, things are getting a little.....well.....boring. Wanting to sin is a good sign, I guess. On the other hand, the type of sin I'm talking about is not at all similar to the type of sin I would be thinking about PB (pre-band). For the most part, at least. The only original sin (not THE original sin.....MY original sin) that's kind of lurking in my bad girl body is wanting to sneak a smoke. It's always been one of my favorite sins. For the most part, no one really 'knows' I smoke. Well, some people know. Bartenders know. My favorite waitress at the Saloon knows. Oh, and my vacation group knows. And, yes, my sisters know....they like to smoke with me. And, there's my don't-leave-the-bar-until-they-run-the-sweeper-under-our-feet friends....they know. They do the dirty deed on the sly too. And, of course, my husband knows. And, some of my neighbors know. Toni and Vince know but they hate it. And, maybe a few cousins. I think a handful of people I work with know. But, really, no one knows. Or maybe everybody knows. If that's the case, it really would not be that much fun.....my dirty little secret. It's not that I smoke-smoke. I like to sneak a smoke. It feels so bad, so decadent, so, I don't know, wonderfully trashy. So, I'd like to keep it under wraps....my sneak smoking, that is. It's much better that way. Wouldn't want the whole world to know that I like to sneak a smoke. One thing will lead to another and then eventually they will find out about the cage dancing thing. So, mum's the word.....on the smoking. As I was saying, life is getting a little stale. For that matter....the pack of cigarettes I have hidden are probably getting stale too. In any case, as far as some of the things that are becoming sins now that were never sins before....this is where I find myself. These new-to-me sins would include taking a hit of Diet Coke. Eating a fudgescicle instead of a SF popscicle. Swallowing that little piece of onion that I didn't strain out of my broth. Taking a swig of my favorite wine. Lifting my flower box that Carmen didn't quite place right and putting it where I want it. Grabbing the keys to the car and driving somewhere....anywhere. These are the sins that are invading my thoughts. For the most part, I'm your average sinner. Being raised Catholic and knowing all the evil that awaits me should I be a big time sinner, I try to stay on the right side of the 10 Commandments. I do pretty well. But, when I have strayed, being Catholic helped me out. We Catholics are given an out......go to Confession, tell the Priest (I never go face-to-face....seems too rough.....), do your Penance (say 3 Hail Marys, 3 Our Fathers and be nice to your family) and all is well with the world. So, this whole new world of possible sins has me a bit perplexed. See, in my brought-up-Catholic world, those things are part of the "Disobeying" realm of sins. What we call menial sins. Little sins. You are allowed a lot of them (at least I hope so). I guess if you have a huge pile of them and die without telling the priest about them, things might not go exactly as planned. You'd have to hang out in pergatory for awhile before visiting the Holy Gates. But, since I think pergatory closed it's doors awhile back---sort of went out of business---you might just have to wait in the long line at the Gates instead of proceeding directly to see St. Peter with those folks who managed to get a priest to listen to all of their transgressions....even if they had more than you. It's just the way it goes. A result of re-engineering, no doubt. Now, the mortal sins.....well, we won't go there. The only road for those nasty folks goes SOUTH. But, as I was saying....my new list of things that can now be sins have me a bit puzzled. Then, there's the whole problem with having "bad thoughts"......you know...thinking about sinning. Many young boys...my classmates..... found themselves in that situation with Sister John Joseph. Thinking bad thoughts has me scared to this day. The paddle with the holes still swings as far as I am concerned. Since I'm a proponent of thinking of things differently.... maybe I'll look at these "sins" in the world of science.....we know that every action has an equal reaction. At least I think that's the way it goes. (Sounds very similiar to the sin-confess thing now that I think of it). For this discussion, let's assume that's correct.....action=reaction. So, I take a hit of Diet Coke. Or, I eat a fudgescicle? Or, I hop in the car and drive down to 7-11. What happens? Okay, let's say I swallow the onion? Anything? See what I mean.....it's very, very confusing. Tell me I can't murder my arch enemy...the one with the small waist, the big boobs who is also an uber bitch with a damn cute husband who adores her and doesn't know she is cheating on him.........got it. Tell me I can't use a straw.....I'm *this* close to doing it because I'm told I can't. It's not so much that I want to disobey. It's just getting boring. Even the sins that I could commit are boring. I guess that's why I don't want to commit them. Boring is just......well.....boring. Now, sneaking a smoke and cage dancing......not boring, not mentioned in the 10 Commandments.......