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Sunday, June 13, 2010

91...........

She would have been 91.


Shhh..... don't tell anyone.
She wouldn't have liked that.
In fact, she would beat you with her slipper!

Today is my mother's birthday.
She would have been 91.
Instead, she remains 39 + 14 years experience.
We should all be so lucky.
To never age.
She will always remain......53.

Funny, now that I'm 51, I realize how young she was.
I've got more than two more years of living to do.....
I know she did too.


My mother was one of those older moms.
She didn't marry until later in life.....at the ripe old age of 38
She had me when she was teetering on 40.
After me, she went on to have my sisters....

Each year, when June 13th rolls around, I pause to sing to her.
I'm not a very good singer.
But I know it's a song she loves to hear.
After all, who wouldn't want to hear their child's voice?
That's what I'm banking on....

It's funny how when you lose your mother, your life changes.
You become a very different person.
Forever.
You are a motherless daughter.
Forever.
No pain will ever compare.
It's not an easy place to be.
You never cry over the other stuff.
You become tougher than that.
Because you are a motherless daughter.

As the years go by, you accept it.
And, soon, you become the authority on it.
Considering I've been doing it for 37 years....I'm an expert.
You run to the side of anyone who loses their mother.
You tell them how to deal with it.
Even if you have no idea how to do it.
You say comforting words.
And, you try to explain how the years will ease the pain.
Which it will.
But, what you don't tell them is that there will be days that bring you to your knees.
Like today.
These are the days that you need to dig deep.

That's just what I am doing today.
And, what I found was a reason to smile.

My mother's jock strap coasters.
The ones we found in the green cabinet in the basement.
In a Gimbel's gift box labeled....in her own writing.....FOR MY HIGH BALLS.





Happy Birthday Mommy!
You definitely had HIGH BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7 comments:

Jacquie said...

Happy Birtday to your mom Judi.

You have me on my knees crying for the loss of your mother and also, as its not quite 5 weeks, for the sudden, horrific death of my dad.

I cannot imagine the pain when a mother dies but I am living the pain of losing my dad. He was here, in my house 5 weeks ago today. We were having coffee at 6 a.m. and he was telling me how happy he was with his life, how much he loved my sister and I and everyone in the family. He told me how happy he was that I found my husband and that now he doesnt have to worry about me. I found a really good man.

Three hours after this conversation he left my house with my husband to go meet my sisters husband in Myrtle Beach and two days later both he and and my sisters husband were dead. I wake up every day wondering if today is the day that I won't cry and so far, its not.

I guess you are proof that you never get over the loss of a parent but possibly, the crying will subside at some point except for occasions such as this?

I have so many great memories of life with my dad and that is what I am clinging to.

Sonya said...

What a nice entry. And I laughed at the end with the jock straps for the high balls glasses. lol

Sonya said...

Oh and ironically my word verification to leave that comment was "fulness" lol lol
Had to come back and tell ya.

Jody V said...

Hey Judi...

My Mom had me at 37. I lost her when I was 32.

Thanks for sharing those memories.

Jody

Bonnie said...

I'm going on 4 years of dealing with the loss of my mom, who was also my best friend. I could talk to her about anything and knew that I always had someone in my corner. She would have been 71. Happy Birthday to your Mom. It was a wonderful post honoring her.

Eileen, Founder, Organizer, Mayor and Chief Cook And Bottle Washer of the Anger Management Girls. said...

How true this post is. I can remember my mother telling me when her mother died that there is nothing worse than losing a mother.
I think in some ways it was even harder than losing my husband.

I love, love, love the coasters!!!! Do you use them for your "high balls"
We certainly know where your sense of humor came from!

Viv said...

Love the coasters - your Mom must have been a great woman and a wonderful mom. We share a birthday.