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Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Speaking of bathing suits.......


and in honor of Cinco De Mayo......

And now....a little story that has nothing at all to do with this guy.
But, it does have to do with Mexico and bathing suits....and dieting

Thirteen years ago....in celebration of our 15th wedding anniversary, we took a little trip to a couples resort in Cancun for Cinco De Mayo. In preparation for that jaunt, I kicked off that year.....with a diet.
Even though I had already been on a diet....as I always was.
Shocking, I know.

Four and a half months, hundreds of dollars and many wonderful diet pills later---I arrived at a moment of thinness. With my newly found weight loss and the trip to Cancun pending--I set off on a journey to find a worthy bathing suit. This time, I wanted a two piece! I had not had one on since my honeymoon, I had lost about 60 pounds, I was done having kids, we were taking our first sans-kids trip since said kids were born and I was going to a foreign country to a couples-only resort--where no one knew me and little kids and teens would not be pointing at me and saying "look at that fat lady in the two piece!". Yes, it seemed like the perfect time to kick off my life wearing two piece bathing suits. Forever.
After all, I was always going to be in 2 piece bathing suit mode....

At the time, the newest rage was a tankini. It seemed like the perfect bathing suit for me....enough coverage yet definitely a two piece....
After hours spent scouring stores and catalogs--I hit upon 3 perfect tankinis. All three of them with darling little skirts attached and each of them with a hidden panel to cut down on the tummy bulge. Where they perfect or what? Yes, perfect for a week of frolicking on the beach with like-folks, no kids, lots of tequila, the sand, the sun and the surf....

Fast forward to the beautiful, hedonistic beaches of our resort---me in my lovely two piece tankini, a big floppy hat and my margarita and everyone else around me in micro-mini bikinis and topless suits---regardless of their size, their age, their amount of hair.....well, you get the picture....
All of a sudden, the mildly overweight girl in a conservative two piece-- with a tummy panel--looked ridiculously out of place and almost comical.
No amount of tequila could make my self-consciousness go away.
We had a good time anyway--in spite of Carmen's case of Monetzuma's revenge that kept him cloistered in our room for the last two days of the trip and the fact that I had ate and drank my way out of my tummy panel and most of my vacation wardrobe and into a lovely Mexican embroidered version of a mu-mu.....
The moral of my story?
Pour yourself a margarita and sit back and think about it......
As for my take on it--it was just a Mexican memory to revisit and share with you on this Cinco De Mayo!
I took nothing away from that experience except about 12 pounds and a husband who never wants to return to the scene of the most horrific case of stomach distress in his life.
Somehow, he managed to lose 20 pounds.......
OLE!

6 comments:

Jacquie said...

LOL Judi...and so true! On all levels.

Sparkler said...

OMG...you said the magic word...MARGARITA!!! Mmmmmm and on a beach...or Mahito...Mmmmm also good on a beach...do you see a pattern forming???

Kathy said...

I can so relate. Thanks for the smiles and I hope you enjoy your Cinco de Mayo too.

Gen said...

OLE!!!!

15 years ago I was in Mexico for my honeymoon. I wore a bikini. And I felt fat. What I wouldn't give now to be "fat" like I was 15 years ago....

Of course, one year after the honeymoon I was at least 20 pounds heavier...and then got pregnant, 60 more pounds....and on and on.

So let's drink to the end of this whole cycle and in honor of the band this Cinco de Mayo!!!!

It takes Patience said...

I found your blog 6 mths ago and have been reading it all the way thru. I am being banded next week with your surgeon at Magee. I want you to know that you brought me to this point. I am so sorry it took me this long to tell you about this.
I hope we can meet. I emailed you from your profile with more info.
Pati
(Patience)

Brooke said...

Oh man, so funny. And sooooooo true.


(Hey, while you're shopping... Let me know if you see any bikinis with a flabby inner thigh/batwing panel that make you look like you have a taunt six pack, okay)?