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Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Balancing the boat......

 while still ROCKING it a REALITY! 
I am sure MLK wasn't talking about weight maintenance but still....

From the outpouring of emails (and one public comment) that I received after yesterday's post, I feel so needed.....Thank YOU!!!  


Thank you all for providing me with a framework to compose this blog post.  Now that I know that #1--I am not alone adrift at sea on my journey and #2--my maintenance soul mates are looking for my thoughts and strategies going forward---I feel energized and focused.
No wonder I LOVE my blog readers.....

Before I dive into my deep banter, I want to say is that I do not strive for perfection.  Being perfect is not a Judi thing.   I strive for BALANCE and REALITY.  I'm not sure if it's my age or me being gentle with myself or it's just who I am but those are the two things that I am always striving for in every area of my life.....sometimes I do a good job of it....other times...notsomuch. 
But, I continue to STRIVE.....
It's no different in how I need to approach living with my LapBand.
It's what made me successful in the beginning and what can and will keep me on track. 
First and foremost---my Lapband journey is now going into it's 7th year. 
That's a pretty long time.
My longevity on this journey is what I am most proud of.
Sure, the weight loss itself is a super prideful thing.
But, if truth be told....I am not a patient girl and I lose interest easily if things aren't going exactly as I think they should be going. Failure cripples me. 
Especially when it comes to all things weight related.
So, the fact that I am still within 12 pounds of my initial goal weight and I am not completely crushed to the point of giving up  because I'm not at my goal weight or below is a pretty great thing.
I try really hard to remember that when I'm beating myself up over the fact that my belly and my hips have collected all 12 of those pounds....

Let's face it.....some days are easier than others.
One of the key elements that I truly believe I am not doing a really good job of is EXERCISE.
It's become an UGLY  8 letter word in my life....
My excuse to myself has been that the brutality of  this past winter just railroaded my walking regimen.  And, I have not recovered from it.  I fell out of the habit and now I'm into the habit of not doing it.
Not good.
Whether I want to admit to it or not.....not walking daily has had a huge impact on my body and my well as my spirit and my energy. 
Pulling the covers over my head when the alarm goes off at 4:30 am feels better than crawling out of bed at that godforsaken hour to fumble around for my shoes and my socks and my walking clothes. 
Throwing laundry in or doing the dishes or  making lunch or preparing for dinner or reading blogs and emails or sitting comatose drinking tea feels more necessary in the morning than walking in the darkness. 
Add that to the fact that I'm not as planful with foods and snacks as I once was and havoc is wreaking.
My days can get very long and I reward myself in ways that make me feel good....a great piece of candy, a glass of wine, going to happy hour, watching reality TV, meeting friends for just a few drinks and appetizers, having late night date night dinners with my name just a few of my indulgences....
Those are not bad things.  They are part of my life.  But, I could make better choices.....
When I am completely exhausted or  utterly frustrated or kinda cranky (or all of above!)....making better choices is the furthest thing from my mind.
The reality of it all is that I am not trying to SOLVE any of those things.  I am trying to ACCEPT those things as a part of life and trying to figure out a way to BALANCE it all.
When I reflect on where I am and how I got here....I find myself smack dab face-to-face with one thing---the exercise.   
At this point of my journey.....EXERCISE has to be the key.
And, I am not talking about spending hours at the gym.
I am talking about returning to a reasonable walking regimen
Once I accomplish that, I believe that other things will fall into place. 
I won't make bad choices as much.
I'll be more inclined to not want to undo the good results that exercise has done for me.
Just as importantly--I don't want to give up the things I love....the little indulgences that make me smile.
But, I have to focus on if the particular indulgence will make me smile.
Case in point---sitting down and eating 20 raspberry Easter eggs makes me NOT SMILE.
Meeting a friend for cocktails MAKES ME SMILE.
Late night dinner dates with my husband MAKES ME SMILE.
Mindlessly eating a bowl full of stale tortilla chips followed by a bowl of ice cream slathered in chocolate makes me NOT SMILE. 

It's the REALITY and the BALANCE that have to take center stage....not the 12 pounds.
That's how I am planning to go forward......
That soon as I return from a little jaunt to Chicago with my favorite shopping fashionista daughter.....
Although the real reason for this trip is to cheer on my beautiful, smart niece and my son the doctor run in their first race together---The Chicago Spring Half Marathon--we are also sneaking in some major shopping, sight seeing and lots of  other things (restaurants, name a few....). 
Sure, there might be lots of wine flowing, cocktails shaken and amazing food eaten but all that shopping requires lots of WALKING.
And, of course....I am sure I will be inspired by all the runners.....
It's all about the BALANCE.  

Stay in the boat friends.......we need each other!!!  
We'll talk more when I get back!



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