|Was I sleeping on the martini drinking job?|
At the moment,I think my misbehavin' ways have protected me from the evils of the cold and flu season!
For the past week, I've been *this close* to a cold. Sniffles. Sneezing. Wheezing. Sore throat. Head ache. Random body aches. Cold. Hot. Not feeling that good. Not feeling that bad.
While the rest of the world around me has been taken down by one dastardly illness or another---my sister,my nephew, my father, coworkers, the woman in front of me at CVS are all suffering---I have been spared a full-blown illness that would keep me down or allow me to curl up on the couch and watch movies or languish in my bed for hours on end, ringing my bell, calling for my tea.....
So,I just walk around whining a little here, moaning a little there, sniffling a bit, coughing a bit and popping cold meds when I get the inkling to do so.
Don't I deserve to get sick enough to be waited on and felt sorry for?
When I was younger, my mother used to say that my Aunt Sarah was too pickled and misbehaved to be sick.
My mother was referring to my dear Aunt Sarah's penchant for younger men and whiskey.
Even though my mother baked cakes and cooked up a storm a few times in anticipation of Aunt Sarah's imminent death, Aunt Sarah actually outlived my mother by more than 2 decades.
Although younger men hold no fascination for me and I am not a whiskey drinker, I often think that perhaps a little misbehavin' and picklin' is not such a bad idea.
By the way, did I mention that I've been gargling with Vodka?
Please don't tell Carmen I've been nipping at his bottle of Goose. I can't waste my gin.
Why am I gargling with Carmen's mid-grade Vodka?
Well..... I had a back tooth break off and then it started throbbing and swelling.
So, I took matters into my own hands.
Although I heard I should gargle with warm salt water, I didn't want to risk infection.
Hello Grey Goose. So long Morton's!
Tonight,I shall drink to my health!
Tomorrow, I shall gargle to my health!