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Thursday, October 27, 2011

The weighty issues of motherlove in New Jersey....

I know most of you are not the New Jersey Housewife junkie that I am.
I freely admit to my obsession with all things Real Housewives of New Jersey.
That show is one of my guilty pleasures.
I have no idea why. I can't even begin to explain it.
It just is what it is and I own it.
There's no need to lecture me on the absurdness of it all or try to explain to me that it's junk TV.
None of that will work on me.
They are part of my life and I have made myself a part of theirs.
Well, sort of....
I comment on their blog posts, I follow their tweets and try to tweet back, I read everything I can about them, I become emotional over their situations, I chime in when I feel they need my advice, I support who I feel deserves my support, I root for the ones I want to root for and I rail against the ones that I feel need railed against.
If you've followed my blog long enough or know me in person, you already know that I even traveled hours to meet one of them and stood in a four hour line to get her autograph on the cookbook that she wrote.
You also know that I was thrilled beyond belief to go an event at a venue that one of the housewives owned. And, yes, I was not ashamed to admit that I was starstruck when I met the family.
I was impressed when I was invited to an event where one of them held an event. And, I was over the moon to know that I was staying in a hotel where some of them also stayed and hosted a party.
Naturally, I sought them out on my little jaunts to Jersey. I've looked for the stores they shop in and the road signs for the towns they live in. I even took pictures of road signs.
Ohmyohmyohmy, I gotitbad.

So, yeah, you can say that I'm a full blown New Jersey Housewife addict.
I know, I know....not exactly what many of you think of when you think of me.
Deal with it!

If any of you happen to follow the show or maybe even catch a story about them here or there, you know that the past 2 Sundays, Bravo hosted the New Jersey Housewife reunion show.
For those of you out of the loop--the reunion show is basically a show that is taped in the present which gives everyone a chance to revisit the past season's episodes (that were taped last year at this time) and reflect on the drama. Essentially, a year has passed in the lives of these women and their families since the end of the season we have all just viewed.
That should give you a lay of the land.
No, I won't go into all the drama and the details and the story lines.
But, boyohboy I sure as hell could.
And, I'd be more than willing to share lots of my own opinions on that bitch fame whore Melissa and her sex crazed, self absorbed husband, Joe....don't get me started....I can feel my blood boiling already.
No, that's not what I'm here to talk about.
I'm here to talk about this.....mothering and weight issues.

One of the women on the show--Caroline--holds herself in very high regard (ooooh, I used to like her...don't get me started).
She happens to be the mother of 3 adult children--Albie, Christopher and Lauren.
Her husband Albert had Lapband surgery about 2 years ago and lost a great deal of weight.
That following year, Caroline herself lost a good deal of weight. Although there was some speculation in the tabloids that she too had Lap band surgery--she completely denied it. Not perfect Caroline....no, she did it the old fashioned way....she cut down her portions and exercised.
Yeah for you, Caroline. You are so wonderful....
This past season, her daughter Lauren shared many times that she feels very self conscious about her weight and she even had several conversations on screen with her mother about her distress over her weight and how she looks.
Now, let me say that whatever I think about her judgmental bitch pit bull of a mother , I think Lauren is a lovely young woman who is very pretty and seems to have her head on straight.
Although God knows why she would cry about being fat on national TV but oh well...
The thing about her mother is that she never acknowledged her own daughter's feelings about her self image. One of her mother's comments was-- "you're like 8 pounds of sausage in a 6 pound casing" (they are Italian, they relate everything to organ meats....)
Fast forward to the reunion show...which was almost a year after the episodes were taped....and the issue of Lauren's self image and weight issues rears its ugly head again....in the conversation. Mind you, Lauren is not there. She is, presumably, at home watching it on TV.
And, what does her own mother say....right there in front of a gadzillion viewers...."am I supposed to tell my daughter she is beautiful when she is overweight?"
Ummmm.
Let me see if I can answer that Caroline.
No. You are NOT supposed to tell your daughter she is beautiful when she is overweight.
YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE YOUR DAUGHTER IS BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT! AND, FURTHERMORE, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO TELL HER THAT! YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED IMPLY TO THE ENTIRE WORLD THAT YOU DON'T THINK YOUR DAUGHTER IS BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE SHE IS OVERWEIGHT. AND, CAROLINE, WHEN SHE REACHES OUT TO YOU, SHE IS ASKING FOR YOUR HELP AND YOUR SUPPORT NOT FOR YOUR TO BLAB ABOUT IT.....

Funny thing....I just figured that everyone would agree with me about that.
Mothers are not supposed to make their own children feel badly about themselves...right?
I mean...RIGHT?
Okay, okay, maybe I am a little bit sensitive when it comes to weight issues and self image and all that jazz.
But, really.....

I was so fired up about Caroline's comment that I jumped head first into the foray on an online forum that I frequent (about RHONJ) and blasted her for that comment.
Here's what I said....cut and paste exactly from my online post...

Caroline said a lot of awful things throughout the reunion. But, I seriously hope she cringes when she hears herself talk about her daughter's weight. That was seriously terrible. What kind of mother says that???? A mother who thinks she is better than everyone

Well......
It appears there are lots of mothers out there that agree with Caroline.
And, they let me have it......wooooaaaaaahhhhhhh!
I was virtually bitch slapped all over the internet for how I felt and what I said.
I got some pretty nasty comments.
Caroline, of course, didn't chime in.
But, her cartel of ardent and adoring supporters did.
Most of them said that it's a mother's job to tell their children the truth.

So, if I'm hearing them right--the truth is that if you are overweight, you are not beautiful?
Maybe that's true in New Jersey.
Not in Judiland.

2 comments:

Jacquie said...

I caught that too on the show and thought it was disgusting. What site were your commenting on? I too am addicted to that show....not any of the others...just New Jersey. Why? Who knows?

Jody V said...

Oh Judi...those women would follow those bitches off of a cliff! Trust me...that's NOT the NJ way...nor are they NJ Housewives...just sayin...I wish they would leave just like the Jersey Shore folks......again...just sayin...