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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Love thyself......

give thyself gifts.......

I've been meaning to talk about this for a few weeks now....but, between the snow and the self exploration and the hair-do torment and all the other thrilling things I've been babbling about, I kinda forgot....
Thankfully, one of my perceptive blog readers emailed me yesterday, jogging my memory.
Thank you Bandlola!

Several weeks ago, Bandlola emailed me with a list of questions.
Bandlola is what we bandsters call a baby bander--she had surgery in January. She is new to the Lapbanded life!
She had your typical questions that all new banders have.
And, I was more than happy to share my experience with her and tell her what I knew that could help her along.
A day or two later, she emailed me back to tell me that she was having a very hard time staying in the moment of her Lapband.
Not quite sure what she meant, I responded with a question of my own--what do you mean?
She told me that she has been dieting all of her life and always found a way around each diet--aka cheating.
She found herself slipping back into that same diet behavior with her band.
For instance, she knew that her band would not reject ice cream so she was eating lots and lots of ice cream--with carmel and chocolate and whipped cream on top!
And, she knew that she could easily eat mashed potatoes and creamed corn and puddings and soft cakes.
So, she did!
She was stocking her fridge and her cupboards with foods she knew she could eat.....foods that would slide right past her band.
She realized she was doing this...... but she was doing it just the same.
She said she was working the band just like she worked every other diet in her life......she was not working WITH the band!
She was working against it.
And, she was fully aware that she was doing it!
She wanted to know if I had any suggestions.
My immediate reactions were to either give her a pep talk or to get stern with her and tell her to stop it right now!
But, not really knowing Bandlola all that well and having some empathy for her situation--I didn't feel right doing that.
So, I told her I would think about it for a little while.

Which I did.

Although I still went with the pep talk and some quasi-stern advice, I also told her something else---you really have to make your Lapband a piece of every part of your daily life.
It cannot be an afterthought.
I told Bandlola that she had to integrate her banded life into everything.
Especially in the early days.
And, I told her that the key is that she has to continue to remind herself that she is one with her Lap band.
And, I went on to tell her that sometimes it's the little things that matter most.
It might be as simple of putting a string on your finger or a post-it note on your computer or a message on your mirror or a reminder greeting on your cell phone.
But, you really do have to incorporate your Lapband into every thing you can think of.
For me---I do a lot of little things from the passwords I use to always having my first Lap band appointment card in my wallet amongst my dollar bills and having another appointment card tucked in the visor of my car....right above my head so I can see it each day as I drive along or as I sit in traffic.

After I hit SEND.....I remembered something else.

I had to tell Bandlola!
I had to tell her about the gifts!

Without even realizing what I was doing ....I gave myself gifts along the way--gifts that I wear everyday to remind me of my journey---where I have been, where I have come from and where I am.
Although I didn't plan the gifts to coincide with milestones--they came to represent those milestones.
For instance--sometime around the time that I had lost the first 50 pounds....I received a Brighton bracelet that said Live the Life You Love.
As soon as I got it, I put it on and I never took it off.
Then, around the time I lost the 100 pounds, I was shopping in a little boutique and came upon another bracelet---a crystal sparkley little number! I immediately fell in love with it. It was a bit pricier than I would have liked but I remember thinking that it would look so lovely next to my Brighton bracelet.
So, giving in to my bracelet-love and feeling quite wonderful that I had fit into a pair of size 10 jeans, I bought it, put it on immediately and never took it off.
Yes, I wear them to bed and in the shower...I never take them off.
And, even though these bracelets were not planned--when I look down at them--as I do oh so often throughout my days--I am reminded of my Lap band, my journey and my success.
And, most importantly, I am reminded that each day my Lap band is a part of me......
My bracelets have become as much a part of my Lapband journey as my Lapband itself.
Yes, I am one with the band.
And, I have 2 lovely bracelets to prove it.
So, in the end---my advice to Bandlola---
Go out and get yourself gifts.
YOU are so worth it.

Sometimes it's all in the jewelry.....


Kathy said...

That is a great idea Judi. My hubby and I went to the jewelry store to have my wedding rings cleaned and checked. While we were there he mentioned the diamond that was replaced in my rings a couple of years ago and how we still hadn't given it a new home. Their designer was there and immediately jumped to the task of finding me a place for my diamond. Gulp! We ended up buying diamond and sapphire pendant with an open space on the bottom to put my marquise diamond. Before I knew it my hubby had handed over his credit card and spent $1100 for this item. I kept thinking about it all night. It was too extravagant to buy without an occasion. Thanks to you, my friend I now have an occasion. When I hit the 100 pounds lost mark, I will wear my new pendant. Thank you

Jody V said...

I absolutely LOVE this post!! I copied to a file and I will make myself reminders for my car, work and anywhere else they need to be!

Thanks Judi!!