2008--Strutting my way through.....one shoe at a time.....

Ending a year, beginning another---both situations deserve prolific thoughts and words. Yet, all I can think about are shoes. There's so much tangled up with the whole New Year thing. But, shoes are simple. There is a right shoe and a left shoe. And, if you have good taste---you have great shoes. And, they can make you feel happy and sexy and smart....and even taller! Not the same with a New Year. A New Year can make you feel......well.....not so new.

Ending a year---a time for reflection. Beginning another---a time for planning. Or, so it goes. Yet, all I am is tired. And, a little blue. Neither of which are very helpful when trying to reflect or plan. And, if truth be told---I'm not really good at either. Not sure why that is. I suspect it has something to do with fear. Oh, sure I'd love to think that I don't reflect or plan because I'm just a spontaneous, fun-loving gal who is so in tune with the universe and my own being that there's simply no need for it. But, I suspect that's not the case. It's fear. I'm pretty sure of it.

Many years ago, we socialized with a group of guys Carmen worked with and their wives. One of the couples---Eddie and Margaret----were quite a bit older than us. When we got engaged, Eddie arranged for Carmen to wear a ball and chain at the office. When Vince was born, he and Margaret showed up with a Penn State sweatshirt wrapped in Penn State paper and tied with a Penn State ribbon---just to agitate Carmen (he graduated from Pitt---enough said). To this day, one of my favorite and most popular dip recipes is one that Margaret made for every party. They were fun and funny and fun-loving. Except for when it came to New Year's Eve. Margaret always hated New Year's Eve. I mean, she simply despised it. When the subject came up about what everyone was doing on New Year's Eve, Margaret would say "I hate New Year's Eve." I was young. I didn't get it. In my 20-something, happy, simple world, the thought of hating a night that was meant for partying seemed rather strange. So, one time, I asked Margaret what she hated about New Year's Eve---thinking she would say that she hated party hats or noise makers or drunk people. But, she didn't. She said she hated beginnings and endings. Still, I didn't get it.
Now, I get it. I'm not at the point where I hate New Year's Eve (especially if I get a new pair of shoes for the occasion). But, I understand not liking the beginning and ending stuff. I've decided that I'm much better at the in-between stuff...the living day-to-day and dealing with each new thing--whether it's good or bad---on it's own. Reflecting on something as big as a whole year feels daunting. Because, let's face it, there were probably some things I'd like to forget. And, no thank you---I don't want to revisit it, reflect on it, analyze it or figure out why it happened or how to stop it from happening again. It might make sense in the world of heavy duty self aware people but not in my let's just forget it and move on world. And, holy geez, planning for a whole year feels so massive. We can't plan for everything! There's bound to be fun surprises and tough times. And, quite truthfully, I don't really want to think about what MIGHT happen in a New Year....because no matter how optimistic I typically am, I know that bad things can and will happen. What I'm saying is that I like the little things---like a moment, or a day or maybe a week or at the most--a month. I can deal with them and I can make the most of them. Like accessories---you know how they MAKE the outfit? Same type of thinking. It's the moments that make the year. If I can make a not so great outfit work by focusing on the smaller parts of it, I can definitely do the same for a year that may look too big at first glance. I can slim it down. Did you know that a higher heel can make you look slimmer? And, the right shoe can change your life? Look at Cinderella. It comes back to shoes.