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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

It was an itsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny yellow polka dot bikini.....

but it ain't mine.   

And, I'm 200% okay with it not being mine!

Okay, now that we've cleared that up......

Yesterday, I shared that infamous picture of me---a 250 pound woman at the beach....a week before my Lapband surgery in August of 2007.   
(it was easy to put it on yesterday.....)
Thinking back, I realize that the only way I would have done that five years ago was if I truly believed that the Lapband was going to work for me.   I mean--really--would I have intentionally put that awful picture of me on the internet for all the world to see if I didn't think that the Lapband was going to be the tool to help me finally succeed at losing weight? 
Let's face it, I have been going to the beach for years and each year after seeing pictures of myself, I would vow to go on a diet and return to the beach the following year  wearing a bikini!   Did I put those dreadful pictures from all those other years out there on the internet?  NO! 
Did I ever wear that bikini?  NO! 
And, why not?    That's the million dollar question!  
Maybe I didn't have faith in whatever diet I was going to embark on.  Or, maybe I was so used to going on diets that didn't work that I wasn't about to put yet another failure out there.  
Or, perhaps I wasn't ready to really lose the weight. (gee, I  swear I was always READY to lose weight!)    
Or, was it that the Lapband is the tool that I needed to finally overcome my struggle? 
Although I give most of the credit for my success to my beloved Lapband, I truly believe that there's more to it than that.  I've seen people who have Lapbands who have struggled with losing the weight and/or maintaining their weight loss.  And, I have seen people who have not had even a measurable amount of success from day one. 
What was the magic for me?  
  • Did the moon and stars align perfectly?
  • Had I hit rock bottom?
  • Was it just "my moment in time"?
  • Was it my frame of mind?  
  • Was it the faith that I had in this tool?   
I can tell you that it wasn't exercise.  If I was going to be completely honest--I didn't (and still don't) have a great work out regimen.  Sure, I walk, walk, walk and I take the stairs instead of the elevator and I do all the "little things" so that I move more.  But, do I do scrunches and lunges and zumba and yoga and aerobics or go to boot camps?  Hell no! How's that for honesty?

Yes, I have always made sure that I keep my band at the right restriction and I do try my hardest to follow most of the band rules and I keep my appointments and I blog and interact with other banders to stay in check.  So, of course, all of that helped.  If I am baring my soul here--I should tell you that even the fact that I did all of that so consistently is amazing to me!   Staying the course for so long doesn't come naturally to me--trust me!   I've got all kinds of examples to prove that!  One look at my trashed walk-in closet that I vowed to keep orderly is a testament to my inability to stay the course....

As I reflect on the gift of this weight loss and wonder why I was blessed with the ability to be successful with this tool,  I am struck by the fact that even 5 years later--I can't exactly pin point what made it work for me!  
How did I get so damn lucky????   Sometimes, that  question keeps me up at night! 
Is it because this time around, my goal was not to get into that bikini?  


Jacquie said...

As usual, great post! I think you nailed it too about the bikini! I am in the best health and shape of my life and I too ask that did I get so blessed to have it all work for me this time. I still can't answer that one but I will just keep doing what I am doing!

You and others are proof that not only can we lose the weight, but we can maintain the lower weight. I can tell you for me, every day is a battle!

I know Down the Hatch very well! We live in Ormond Beach, next to Daytona, and take motorcycle rides to Pounce quite often. Did you know that a Joes Crab Shack just opened on the pier in Daytona? OMG! Best thing to happen to Daytona in years! You will love the top deck which is an open-no roof bar surrounded by the ocean!

Ryan.Perry said...

Great post! Keep up the hard work. One thing I’ve found to be extremely helpful and useful as a supplement to my current diet/exercise plan is Fullbar ( Not only do their products help you lose weight, they also help you maintain your weight loss.

speck said...

Well first of all, you don't look bad at all in that original beach picture. I was quite surprised to be honest.

I love your personality and your honesty about the exercising.

Congrats on your success.