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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

My New Year's resolution is to wear a tiara

...and to be unapologetically....

All this holiday hoopla and family togetherness translates into cooking, cleaning up and cooking and cleaning up. For days on end. Days and nights. And nights and days. All day. All night. Forever. And ever. And ever. And ever.

My very savvy and knowledgable friend Kate always says that in her next life she is coming back as a helpless woman. She has this theory that whatever you do in your first year of marriage, you've set the tone for the rest of your married life. For instance--if you do all the cooking, all the laundry, all the dishes, all the shopping, all the gardening and everything else that goes along with it--then you will always be doing it. I've come to the conclusion that I must have been very busy being super woman in my first year of marriage. Because my reign as the super hero of all things domestic has not come to an end. And, if Kate's theory is will not be over any time soon.

Unless I say so, I guess. And, I'm not very good at saying so....
And, if truth be told--my family is not very good at hearing it (I've never trained them...).

So, I was avoid having to cry and scream and to avoid having to deal with them getting all defensive and cranky---maybe I'll just quietly slip into diva modefor the next 365 days. So, instead of telling them that I am no longer going to be doing everything and risk a guilt trip and possibly lots of tears and misery, I'll just put on a tiara and feign ignorance. As the dishes pile up in the sink, I'll just walk past them in my tiara and head straight to the couch to prop up my feet and read a magazine. As my family waits for dinner, I'll put on my tiara and walk up to my bedroom, fluff up my pillows, turn on the TV and enjoy a night of TV shopping. When the bathroom door will no longer close because the entire room is filled with dirty towels, I'll place my tiara on my head, pack up a little bag and head to a very nice hotel downtown. When the township stops by the house to report that our front yard has become a danger zone because of all of the weeds and thickets, I'll put on my tiara and pretend I don't speak English. When the pantry is bare and there's not even a can of tuna fish to be had, I'll put on my tiara and spend the rest of the day relocating my shoe collection from my bedroom closet to those bare cupboard shelves. Then, I'll head out to my favorite shoe store to fill my bedroom closet once more.

I think it's a pretty decent plan. Don't you? It's very comprehensive--a little shopping, a little magazine reading, a little role playing, some shoes, some bling. Oh yes, it could work.
Now...the only thing I need is a tiara....
What would my family think if I went tiara shopping tomorrow instead of doing the big New Years' Day family dinner thing? Gee...I wonder if anyone would answer the door when the guests come? Because I'm pretty sure opening the door is my job too....


Kathy said...

Oh how right you are Judi. When you get your tiara let us know if it works. Because I know you'll have several followers. I will be first in line. Happy New Year my friend.

Eileen, Founder, Organizer, Mayor and Chief Cook And Bottle Washer of the Anger Management Girls. said...

My favorite Dear Abby letter is from a woman who complained that she is a stay at home mom and her husband always tells people she stays home and does nothing.
Abby's response. Stop doing "nothing" for a few days and he'll soon find out how much "nothing" you do.
I tried it, all it takes is a few times before they get it.

I quit doing other peoples laundry years ago. After the third or fourth day of no clean towels, they get it. No one over the age of 16 should expect another person to do things they could do for themselves.
If you want to do it is one thing, but to expect it is quite another.
Happy New Year.

Jody V said...

Hey Judi -

I will leave NJ now and be by you in 8 hours to use my tiara!! I would gladly share with you! Have a great New Years!

Cathy said...

My husband would knock that tiara off my head before I knew what happened. (no, he's not abusive) He would just so not get it. He would probably think something had crawled up on my head. He wouldn't recognize a tiara if Lady Di herself walked into the room. Good luck, Judi. Hope it works for you, Your Highness.

Sher's Creative Expressions said...

Oh, I'm with you. About this time of the year (after the holidays ~ Thanksgiving through New Years) I get tired, very, very tired. But, hey, all of my family have had a wonderful time ~ ah, yeah ~ that's the problem.

Both of our daughters had plans for New Year's Eve and I told them no one was going ANYWHERE until they took down that gosh darn 14' CHRISTmas tree that EVERYONE (but me) wanted. I put it up, but I wasn't taking it down. Threatening works good in my house. Blackmail, whatever it takes to get a little help around here I am not above doing :). I mean, I must do what I have to do :)

Happy New Year!!



Anonymous said...

I've tried some of those things and it doesn't seem to work. After about the 4th day, I just gave up. Good luck with your Tiara