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Sunday, December 21, 2008

Do you hear what I hear?

Compliments are a funny thing. People are afraid to give them---especially when it comes to weight loss. They think that if they tell you how great you look because you lost weight then they are implying that you didn't look great before and that they thought you were fat. Well, I'm here to tell you folks--I was fat and I did not look all that great--especially when compared to how I look now. So, believe me when I tell you--I am completely open to compliments. Bring them on. I've got no problem whatsoever if you tell me that I look great. I've got no problem at all with hearing you say "Oh my God, you lost so much weight.." Just keep them coming....that's all I have to say. Because when you compliment me--that's exactly what I hear--a compliment. I don't stand there and stew "so, he thought I was a big fat pig before" or "oh, look at her, now that I lost weight, she talks to me". So, stop worrying people...when you want to give me or anyone else a compliment on losing weight--DO IT. We worked hard. We know we were fat before. And, we figure you knew it too. So, don't hesitate.....

It was a weekend of people hesitating.

When I left you all--I was still undecided on what I would be wearing Friday night. Drum roll please...I chose a simple black ensemble from my closet--a longer length black crocheted skirt and a simple black wrap around sweater that's secured with a tassel with bugle beading and a pair of black patent sling back's with a red satin bow. I didn't overdo the jewelry (normal weight girls don't really have to if they don't want to!)--black chandelier earrings, a black glitzy bracelet and a chunky silver and black ring. It was a perfect Judi look...classic with a little bit of rocker thrown in. The skirt fit perfectly....not too tight, not too loose and it hit me right at my ankle. Honestly, I felt wonderful in it--hugging my body but not with that feeling of being squeezed into it. If there was a moment that my head and my body were in tune--it was that moment. All of a sudden....I realized that I had lost over 80 pounds. I could feel it....

And, I wanted to hear it. Which I did....sort of. People greeted me with a mix of surprise and shock. One of my dearest friends in the world--my college roomie (who we fixed up with someone Carmen works with a few years back and they are now happily married)--was enthusiastic and overly sweet. Her husband, on the other hand, didn't seem to know what to say--except a sheepish "looking good". The darling wife of another one of Carmen's coworkers--who I ran into in the ladies' room--seemed a bit puzzled when I said hello to her. When she finally figured out who I was, she was unnecessarily embarrassed and apologetic. As I washed my hands and applied more lip gloss, I could feel her stare. Then, a few minutes later--as if on a delayed response---she uttered--"you just look so different! I can't decide what it is...is it your hair?" My college roomie saved her "doesn't she look great? she doesn't want to tell you but she lost over 80 pounds!" The woman laughed nervously "I thought it was that! But, I didn't want to say it!" Then, there was the woman who caught as I walked up to the bar--she motioned for me to come over to talk to her after I got my drink. I nodded in agreement. When I approached her, she quickly pulled me aside "You look great! How did you lose all that weight?" When I told her, she seemed to lose her enthusiasm. Or, maybe she just didn't know what to say. Then,rather self-consciously, she asked if she could email me with a few questions. "Of course!" I told her. But, I have to tell you-- Carmen's boss took the prize when it came to reactions. When he approached me, he said--"I looked over and wondered who Carmen brought with him! I didn't know who you were. Judi you look amazing!Wow! No wonder I didn't know the woman with Carmen!" Then, he seemed to want to catch himself--as if he didn't want to imply that Carmen might be with another woman! "I didn't have my glasses on..." he said sheepishly. A little while later, he pulled Carmen aside to apologize. He said he thought he offended me with his remark that I looked so different. He thought that he might have implied that he thought I didn't look good before. When Carmen told me, I made face..."what did you say?" I asked him. He said he set him straight...he told him I was happy to hear compliments. With that...I turned to my husband...."Yes, I need to hear compliments..." I'm pretty sure he heard me...loud and clear.

6 comments:

JCWillow99@gmail.com..( Cassie) said...

That is great. I think people always look younger when they lose alot of weight.
I know how hard it is to lose, so congrats!

JCWillow99@gmail.com..( Cassie) said...

That is great. I think people always look younger when they lose alot of weight.
I know how hard it is to lose, so congrats!

Kathy said...

I have found that a few people I know are the same way. Afraid they might offend you by saying you look good or mentioning you've lost weight. Maybe we should wear a sign that says "Ask me about my weight loss, I love hearing it"
I am glad you had a good time. And I would love to see a picture of how you dressed.

Kathy

Founder, Organizer, Mayor and Chief Cook And Bottle Washer of the Anger Management Girls. said...

Hey, when you got it, flaunt it!!!

Daffodil Hill said...

You deserve every compliment you get! I know you must have looked stunning in that outfit. People DO say some odd things when they really don't know WHAT to say, don't they! I've heard a few rather memorable lines myself this year. ;)

Moriah'sGrandma said...

Judi, congrats on your journey! You are an inspiration to us all. Just know that you are not alone along the way. We are cheering you on! You will get done what needs to be done. Enjoy your time with your family and have a very Merry Christmas!