Thursday, November 13, 2008
Rah, Rah, Rah, Bip, Boom, Bah.....
Can I have an M?
We're being tested. Yep, it's that time of the year. It all started with that Halloween candy. And now it's moving towards stuffing and pumpkin pie. Soon it will be cookies and candy canes and wine and cute little appetizers and gooey plates of stress food. Then it's vats of nacho dip and big mugs of fatladen hot chocolate. After that, it's missing breakfast--to be followed with scarfing down a doughnut right before a lunch of left over turkey smothered in gravy. Before you know it, it's drive thru food for dinner and midnight runs to Sheetz for a hoagie. The parties. The dinners. The food tastings at Sam's. The left overs. The cooking. The happy hours. The shopping trips. The food court. The coworkers who bring trays of their elderly aunts' fudge and whoppie pies. It's the finals at the end of an entire year of learning. Did we really learn anything?
Can I have an O?
We have to call in the big guns, the girls with the pom poms and the cute guys with the megaphones. Because, friends, we're in for a duzy this year. Well, at least that's the way I'm feeling. With all the economic upheaval coupled with the holiday hoopla and all that goes along with it, food and booze may be the best coping strategy out there. So, I'm thinking---what will it take for me to indulge but not too much, enjoy but not go overboard, do everything I need to do but not become one big stress ball? And....do it without undoing the good work I've done so far.
Can I have a T?
I'm not delusional or half-assed enough to believe that I will or want to avoid all temptation . All I want is a reason to put on the brakes when I'm perusing a buffet table. And something to stop me as I'm standing with the fridge door open wanting to scoop the inside of the pumpkin pie out with a spoon and eat it right there. Plus, I just need that metaphoric hand to slap mine when I reach for yet another big helping of mashed potatoes. And, I want my voice to fall silent when I start ordering that third martini. And...one more thing....I just need a little tsk-tsk for those moments when I'm contemplating a midnight raid on the snack cupboard. That's really all I want. I don't want to miss it all. Afterall, I love buffet tables and pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes and martinis and midnight snacks. Life is too short to live without those things.
Can I have an I-V-A?
Everybody seems to need a little help during these November and December days. There's not an hour that goes by that someone is not bemoaning something that has to do with overindulgence, weight gain or body image. There's not a day that goes by that I don't hear someone beat themselves up over "falling off the wagon" or "being a pig" or just plain overeating. Anymore, it seems like every morsel of food is a sin. At least that's what I hear. So, with all of those voices spewing from so many sources, it's easy to feel like we're damned and destined to just throw in the towel and chow down with reckless abandon. I just don't want to give in to that. And, I know that there will be 2000 times in the next 6 weeks that I will find myself *this* close to doing just that. What's a girl to do?
Can I have a T-I-O-N?
Do I just need stronger willpower? Or, is there something magical or mysterious about sailing through the holidays unscathed by food and liquor? Believe me, I know I have my trusty, beloved Lapband around my stomach. So, I'm luckier than most. But, did I ever tell you that nachos and mashed potatoes and chocolate and the inside of pies and martinis and wine get by that Lapband just fine? They are all very sneaky things....my Lapband doesn't even know they arrived or even passed through the gate. I'm telling you, I have a love-hate thing with every meal beginning with Thanksgiving and ending with New Years Day. My fear of that turkey is as palible as if it could jump up off that platter and bite me on the nose. The power of that stuffing is strong---fortified by 3000 fat calories and 698 grams of carbohydrates. As for that sweet potato casserole and those honey balls--their sweetness can lure an honest woman into prostitution. The temptations that await me and all of my weight battling brethern is going to be rough. I'm fully expecting that this issue will be discussed again and again and again between now and the end of the year. Maybe that's the answer.....reaching out and sharing our frustrations in the hopes of rising above it.
So....can I have M-O-T-I-V-A-T-I-O-N? (should we all just put this picture on our fridge?)