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Monday, April 14, 2008

Because I can........

Did I ever mention that I like bars? The neighborhood kind. Where everyone knows your name. Where they have a jukebox with songs I can actually sing along to. Where everyone is about the same age. Kids you went to high school are there, parents of your kids' friends are there and teachers from your children's elementary school go there for Friday Happy Hour. Old neighbors drop in. The guy who delivers your dry cleaning sits at the bar and the lovely woman from the flower shop chats with her friends at a corner table. Familiar faces. Lots of "hey, how are you?" There's a kind of if you are walking into a celebration...even if it's just a typical weekend evening. And, I especially like it when you run into old friends.....who you haven't seen in a long time. And, to be perfectly honest---since I've lost this weight---it's even better. Watching someone's jaw drop a little is decadent fun. It's as if they can't figure out why I look different. And, they make such a feels oh so lovely. A reason to order up another drink....just to celebrate!

So, Saturday night we went to a neighhood type place where we haven't been in quite some time. It's a nice, local establishment we used to go to when we lived on that side of town. As expected, it was filled with familiar faces. It still felt if time had stood still. Like coming home. From our corner table, we spotted a few old friends standing at the bar. One friend who was standing there doesn't even live in the state. He lives all the way in Utah. We probably haven't seen him in over 15 years. Excited to see them, I popped over to say hello. We did the the usual hugs and "gee this is great" talk. The out-of-town friend greeted me with "you have the same hairdo as your sister had 20 years ago...". Just what I wanted to hear. It was all coming back to me---he never had much tact or sensitivity. Later, I thought of so many responses. But, on the spot, I wasn't prepared. I mean, I could have said "come on, your hair can't be don't have a grey hair on your head". Or, I could have commented on the fact that his poor sense of fashion still hasn't improved.....all these years later...."are those the same pants you wore the last time we went out?" or "didn't someone tell you that you shouldn't wear your pants that gives your flat butt a wedgie". But, no, I just laughed a little and said "gee, thanks." Our other friend---who I probably saw about 3 years ago-- was smitten by my weight loss. So, of course, she asked "how did you do it?" I told her. As I've said so many times, my surgery is no secret. I'm happy to blab about it to anyone who will listen. Good thing she is a good listener. Because...blab I did. And, it seemed as though she was very interested in the entire procedure and process. Maybe it was my imagination or maybe it was the 2 glasses of wine! As I was explaining the band know gesturing how the band is around my stomach and how it limits the amount of food I can eat, our out-of-town tactless friend who probably dyes his hair interupted...."why did you do that?" he asked. "To loose weight" I told him. "So, you eat less?" he asked. "Yes...." I answered. Then, I continued on with the explanation---likening my stomach to a balloon and demonstrating with my hands in the air how the band squeezes a portion of the balloon (as a girl who has had 2 glasses of wine would do). The tactless friend with wierd high wasted pants and flat ass continued to listen in. He seemed quite perplexed. "So, you eat less?" he asked again....looking as if he just didn't get it. "Yes..." I told him. "You couldn't just eat less before?" he asked. At that point, I really wanted to dump my drink on his head. But, $7 for a glass of wine....I dare not waste it. Again.....I wasn't good on the spot with my come back. For lack of anything better to say---I explained the whole band around my stomach thing once more.....referring once again to the balloon and how the band goes in and tightens it so that the opening is much smaller. He didn't seem to get it. "The whole thing is that you eat less....." he said, pointing to my stomach. "That's how you lose weight, right?" Ah....the engineer in him was coming out. "Yes....." I replied. "So, my question remains...." he continued. "And, that question is?" I said through gritted teeth. Why did this man come back to Pittsburgh anyhow? I really never missed him. He smiled triumphantly.....probably thinking I didn't get it....."if all it takes to lose weight is to eat less...which we all know to be true....why didn't you just eat less before?" I smiled a bit but didn't answer. Probably because I wanted to pull out his dark hair by the roots. "You eat less now, right?" he said. I nodded affirmatively. "Why?" Mr. TactlessFakeHairPolyesterPants asked. "Because I can........" I chirped.


Anonymous said...

OMG Judi! Insensitive? No. A complete idiot. Go back to Utah Mr. High Pants!
You see a story in everything. You are too fun. Wish I were at the bar with you!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for always being here (and there!) for me Judi doll! We have never met but you are my best Lapband friend ever. I appreciate your kindness towards my mom and me. I look forward to each post and I am NEVER dissappointed!