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Wednesday, July 24, 2013

UNDER THE INFLUENCE......

Of cookies! 
Cookies, cookies, cookies and more cookies!  

If there's ever a moment when I realize that food can inebriate you as much as alcohol, it's when I have a marathon session with cookies leftover from a good ole Italian Pittsburgh Party.
Massive cookie display tables are a mainstay of Pittsburgh weddings, showers, graduation parties, communions....you name it. 
If you were raised in Pittsburgh, you know exactly what I mean.  
And-a if-a  you-a were-a raised-a Italian-o in-a Pizzaburgh-a, you-a know-a exact-a-ly whatta I-a mean-a time-a duo! 
If you don't know what I mean.....see that picture above?
That's half of the cookie table from a high school graduation party that my Italian friend gave for her son a few weeks ago.
Underneath that table?
Huge containers of more cookies.  And, more cookies!   And, even more!
Can you say 626 dozen of cookies?  
Yes, you heard me right.  
Six Hundred and Twenty Six.  
Every aunt, cousin, second cousin, niece, nana,sister, sister-in-law, mother, mother-in-law and friend bakes for weeks...maybe even months.
Sometimes even for a whole year!
There are even cookie meetings. 
 Spreadsheets too. 
Trust me on this, folks. 
It's pretty major.  
It's a well-(olive)oiled machine of cookie baking women who make it their mission to BAKE!
BAKE! BAKE! BAKE! BAKE! BAKE!
I'll let you in on a teeny tiny little secret---there's also a bit of competition going on there too. 
Who makes the best cookie?
Who makes the most cookies?
And, God forbid.....if you didn't bake?
Yeah, let's not even go there....
No doubt about it....this cookie thing is pretty damn serious.   
In fact, the whole cookie thing is pretty damn serious.
It's a science, really. 
Listen to this....in addition to having the party and supplying the cookies, the  hosts even supply to-go containers. 
So that the guests can take all the cookies HOME with them!  
If the guests don't supply the to-go containers.....no worries...... the guests would have brought their own with them. 
A wise Italian woman would never go to a wedding without a few Tupperware containers or ziplock bags.....

Typically, the cookie table holds no excitement for me. 
I ooh and ahh over them, I compliment all the bakers, I might take one or two.
I might take some pictures.  Then I'm so done with that cookie table.  
I usually go to the bar.  
Because, really, I'm so over cookie tables after 50+ years of cookie tables. 
But, leftover cookies from the cookie table is a whole 'nother matter.
I dutifully come home and put them in the freezer....the freezer in my basement....next to my washing machine (I hate washing machines so I don't like to go there that often....).
Then, I forget about them.
Which is what I did after my good Italian friend's party.   
Until she showed up at my door with a big tupperware container of leftover cookies from her party. 
And, we opened them.
And, we poured ourselves some wine.
And, we ate the cookies.

Three hours after she left, I found myself passed out on the couch with an empty tupperware container on the floor beside me. 
My head was spinning.
My stomach was in distress.
I was sicker that sick.  
I stumbled over to the wine bottle on the table.....perhaps I drank the whole bottle? 
Nope.  It appeared that only two glasses were missing.  One for me.  One for her.
I only had one glass of wine. 
Okay then....
I could hardly stand up straight.  I held on to the table.
Then, I looked out into the night sky, as I held firmly on to that table, I promised God that I would never, ever do that again.
I won't even tell you how I felt the next day.......



2 comments:

Anonymous said...

omg that would be heaven to me!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE cookies and Italian ones are even better!!! oh the tragedy.....lol

Jill (deprives in NY).

FitBy40 said...

This is for sure what heaven looks like! I usually feel hung over after a sugar binge too. I hate it, and know it's going to happen, but usually can't stop myself!