I think I was run over by a reindeer.
Or, perhaps I was doing swan dives from Santa's sleigh.
I'm pretty sure my house was invaded by drunken marauders.
I might even have a nasty case of the flu.
My entire body hurts.
I doubt very much I could walk from *here* to *there* without assistance.
My house is in a complete and utter shambles.
There's empty bottles and dirty glasses and litter as far as the eye can see.
And, my head feels like it's two times it's size.
It's pounding and burning and feeling not so good.
My entire digestive system is very disrupted.
I'm sure you can hear the gurgling in Topeka.
I'm either experiencing a string of very bad luck.
Or, it's the Day after Christmas.