Put on your Easter bonnet!!!

Good.....it's Friday.....

it's a good Friday....
and it's Good Friday....

IT'S ALL GOOD!

Today, that is.

It's not a holiday in my work life.
But, I'm making it a holiday.....mostly for the reason that it is a holiday.....
And, because it is it a holiday any time my kids are coming home.
There's lots to do....like hide their Easter gifts and tidy up their rooms and make way for their dirty laundry....
Gotta pick up their favorite foods and drinks.
Get to church.
And, find a nice seafood place for dinner tonight and get reservations for lunch somewhere on Sunday....
Yes, I've got it all figured out....
Well, I've got it all figured out as far as what will be happening today....
Tomorrow.....that's a whole 'nother story.....






So, if you don't hear from me tomorrow....have no fear.
I'm somewhere in Judiland getting things together for our Easter Eve celebration....
We're hosting a wine tasting featuring Italian wines, an antipasti buffet of Italian artisan cheeses, meats, breads and sweets.
And, we'll be sharing a very very special delicacy...flown in from Italy just last night....
Then, when everyone is finely tuned.....dinner will be served.
A late night Easter Eve dinner.....with all the trimmings.....for a bunch of finely tuned but very well-educated winos.....

The foolish things I did for.......

LOVE.......
body love, that is......

Oh those foolish things I've done in my quest for weight loss!
Thank you, dear Lapband, for saving me from a lifetime of more diet foolery!

In honor of April Fool's Day, I'm going to take a walk through my foolish diet history....


Feel free to put on your walking shoes and join me.....

Everyone has things in their closets that they don't want to talk about. Oh you know what I mean!. Besides all the poor fashion and shoe choices, there's those things that don't hang on hangers or sit in boxes that we'd really like to forget! Things like bad dates, bad choices, lousy one-liners, embarrassing one-nighters, nasty break ups, nasty hook-ups,crazy nights out, crazy mornings after, ......
Or, is that just me?
Okay, Okay....move away from the computer friends....no need for whispering....I'm not going to share all those better-left-in-the-closet things....
Maybe next April Fools Day....

Today, I'm revisiting my dieting past...the foolish things I did to lose weight....

First, let me say (as a way of redeeming myself up front!), I also did my share of not-so-foolish diets--Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, South Beach. But, I was also lured in by quite a number of duds and cads. Diets that promised you the world but all you got was....well.....read on...

The Grapefruit Diet--yes, I lost weight. I also got ulcers all over my mouth
L.A. Weightloss--lots of cash and flash! No wonder they closed their doors!
The Cabbage Soup Diet--sure, I lost weight. I also lost a lot of gas....
Meridia--yep, I lost weight. I also lost control...
Phen/Fen--one of my favs! I lost lots of weight. I guess I also lost some brain cells.
Phen--OMG, how I loved this diet pill! I could stay up all night and go to work the next day--no problem! Yes, I lost weight. But, I never slept...
The 3 Day Diet--yep, I lost weight but I also lost 3 days.
The Zone--took me five days days to figure it out,1 day to figure out I couldn't do it and the rest of the week to figure out how much money I spent in the process.
No-Fat Diet--can you say...GIVE ME A HAMBURGER NOW?
No-Carb Diet--can you say....GIVE ME A PLATE OF PASTA NOW?
F-Plan--high fiber and high plumbing bills!
Eat Right For Your Type Diet--The premise made sense to me. The rest of it did not. My type was confused.
Macrobiotic Diet--felt like a college course that I never could understand. Not sure what it is and why I did it. All I know is the book was $9.95.
Suzanne Somers Diet--Not sure why I even considered this one and I can't tell you anything about it. Perhaps it wiped my memory clean! It must have been during my love affair with Friday night TV viewing
Hollywood Diet--the joy of juice fasting quickly turned into a horror movie!
Herbalife--running from the pushy home sales reps was all part of the plan!
Slimfast--ahh....just another gassy plan
Metabolife--sure, I lost weight but I'm still trying to forget about how badly my head itched!
Dexatrim--hiding it in my shopping cart was only part of the problem!
The Green Tea Diet--as much as I love tea...this one ain't for me. I got more exercise going to the bathroom than anything!
Stacking--it was all the rage on internet b-boards...put together some asprin, some caffeine and something else and you're good to go! Not so much. I needed glinkobiloba to ward off my confusion!
Apple Cider Vinegar Diet--not for the taste bud conscious dieter. I think I still have 2 bottles in my pantry if anyone wants to try it out.
Scarsdale Diet--the only good thing about this diet was the scandalous liasons of the doctor who invented it.
Mediteranean Diet--any diet that promotes wine made it to my list. Didn't lose any weight but the wine took away my disappointment.

Yes, I admit....I was a dieting fool!





Any diet foolery in your closet?


Note to my long-time blog readers:
No, you are not going crazy if you think you read this before!
This is the same posting I used last April Fool's Day.....
It still holds true today and sometimes I think it's good to revisit the past!
No, I'm not playing an April Fool's Day joke on you by reposting it!
The joke is on me--I'm running on empty this week!!!

Good bye to my March madness.....

I'm so looking forward to my April fantasies......

Sleeping on the blogging job......

Yes, that's just what happened this morning.....
Let's talk tomorrow!

Three words about life.....

it goes on......

If you're lucky....



Coming off a weekend spent physically (and emotionally) moving my father out of his assisted living facility....the life goes on mantra means more to me than it did yesterday....
Besides the fact that I'm tired and just a tad bit nervous and stressed and overwhelmed, I'm also a little wiser.
Yes, I know....with age, you gain wisdom.
But, what I found out is....with more age, you gain acceptance.
Thus making acceptance the ultimate wisdom.

Acceptance is what I saw in my father yesterday.
As he sat in his new home--my sister's house.
He accepted--
*a place he never lived before...in all of his 89 years.
*a place he visited on holidays or birthdays or special occasions is now his home.
*his third home in less than a year.

As his daughters and son-in-laws scampered about--moving furniture and checking wiring and testing intercoms and figuring out TV remotes and going through emergency drills and confirming schedules and working out menus and his young grandsons played video games and his granddog Willy sat at his feet--I could see the acceptance in his blue eyes.
As the TV blared and his new world began to emerge, his lips were still.
When he did speak--it was only to remind us that it was his brother's birthday.
His dear little brother Patsy's 88th birthday.
The beloved brother he buried a little over 2 months ago.
I could tell in his voice that he had accepted the fact that Patsy is no longer here....

And, it got me to thinking....acceptance is a peaceful way to live.
Acceptance is not the act of settling or complacency.
It's the conscious act of being wise enough to understand what's really important in that moment....in that very moment.
It's the wisdom to appreciate the seemingly insignificant pleasure of a comfy chair, a warm afghan and a plump ottoman and a place to call home....

As the day went on and I busied myself with the tasks at hand, I couldn't help but give thanks that I am blessed with a father who has the ultimate wisdom to accept what life gives him.
And, I silently prayed that I inherited his acceptance genes.....

My father---accepting his new home and the comfy chair that is now his....

It's a sandwich generation......

and I'm pretty sure I'm the bologna.......


What the hell am I talking about?

Well, according to Wikipedia and Webster.....
The Sandwich Generation is a generation of people who care for their aging parents while supporting their own children.

I was never a fan of bologna.
Many, many years ago, my mother and I had lunch at my Aunt Mary's house.
She was making bologna sandwiches.
My mother--knowing that I did not like bologna sandwiches--whispered to me "if you cut it up into small pieces, it will taste better".
She was right.
I mean, it wasn't great.
But, I could make the best of it.

I'm taking my mother's advice on this bologna sandwich too.....

Saturdaying.......

I'll probably need more than just one of these today.....
There's so much to do in Judiland in the next 48 hours....
But, since I'm just coming off a lovely Friday evening....spent at Il Pizz, sipping Pino and sharing Burrata with Carmen then coming home to listening to some classic Bruce......I think I can get through it all.
So, it's time to get my chai latte going, slide into on my Size 8 jeans, put on a comfy t-shirt, throw on my cute little jacket, slip into my trusty red Bernie Mevs, glide on my lip gloss and head out the door......
This weekend is all about moving my father from his assisted living residence into my sister's home and turning my 2 sisters and I into his caretakers......
That's what I am doing.
How about you?

Finally.......

And, I know exactly how I want to spend it.
So, I'm gearing up to wage an all out demonstration here in Judiland.
When Carmen walks through that door....I am going to be carrying a sign that says "Il Pizzaola OR BUST".
And, like a good demonstrator, I'll be chanting--

Take me to Il Pizz or I will go on a wife strike!
No more laundry. No more cleaning!
No more cooking!
No more you know what!

It's not a fancy place.
A little neighborhood-y, bistro-y, rustic-y kind of place.
It's what I am in the mood for tonight.
Sure, I love boisterous neighborhood bars, little local pubs and even around-the-corner divey spots .
Sometimes I even like romantic, dimly lit, cha-cha kind of places.
But, not tonight.
Nope.

And, you know what?
Going to Il Pizz...for me....right now....has nothing to do with the food.
I can thank my Lap band for that....
Although the food is good.
Very good.
So, I'm sure I'll have a few morsels.
Last time we were there....I had this amazing appetizer called Burrata.....at Il Pizz, they serve it caprese style...to die for....and a Lapbander's dream food....

But, no....

Right now....for me....it's all about the atmosphere and the ambiance.
Oh, and the wine.
They've got this lush Pino Grigio that goes so well with sitting there in that ambiance.
It's what I need right now.
I can feel it in my soul.
And, did I mention that Carmen loves their dirty martinis?
I need Carmen to have one of those. I like him so much better when he does....
Especially on Fridays....

It's just the perfect place.....for this moment in time.

No, there's nothing special about this moment.

Sure, I've got a few things on my mind.
And, yes, it's Friday.
But, my week wasn't horrible.
It was busy and tiring and draining and chaotic and overwhelming.
But, it wasn't horrible.
And, yes, I know, I haven't even planned for Easter.
Or shopped for Easter.
Or even made a list of what I need to do for Easter.
And, I haven't even decorated for Easter.
And I've got the whole family coming.
So, I do have Easter stress....
Oh, and, sure, this weekend is the start of a new chapter in my life (more on that later...nothing for you to worry about)
But, me wanting to go to Il Pizz isn't about any of that.
Or, maybe it's all about all of that.

All I know is---it's Friday.
And, I want to go to Il Pizz.

I'm all about--take me to Il Pizzailo or risk wearing dirty underwear for the rest of your life....

TGIF!

My biological clock is ticking.....

yep, that's what happens when you're 51, you've sent your kids off to find their passions in life, you're way over your career, you've got 326 pair of shoes, you own more black pants than days in the week and you've lost 115 pounds....
You realize you've only got so much time to set the world on fire.....or just make your life worthwhile.....or wear a bikini.....

No need for panic.
I'm not having major issues.
I'm not contemplating anything crazy.
Or insane.
Or embarrassing to my children.

I'm just thinking.
As I have been doing for quite some time now.
You know that.....I know you do.

The other night I was reading one of those tabloid magazines and came upon an article talking about some young starlet who was feeling her biological clock ticking.
And, I got to thinking.....I can feel my biological clock ticking too.....
But, it's another biological clock......
It's the BIG BIOLOGICAL CLOCK......
The one I can't ignore.
You know what I'm talking about.

Do you think I'm having a mid-life crisis?

Wooo hooo....bring on the belly button ring and the stud-muffin-bad-boy on the Harley!
(tell the bad boy to bring me pack of Salem Lights)

I like to do it with the lights on.......

and I have this man to thank for it......


Yes, without Ben, my eyeliner would not be on straight, my mascara would be all over my face and my lipstick would be outside the lines!
Definitely not a good Judi-look.

Yes, even though I've lost 115 pounds, I still need make-up.
Trust me on that one.


We never realize how important electricity is until we lose it.
Yesterday, a major transformer blew up in my little suburban hamlet.
Right when it was time for me to get ready for my day.
In the wee hours.
On a cloudy, dark, rainy morning.

Where's a flashlight when you need it?
Why, it's all the way down in the basement......
In the dark and cluttered basement of Judiland.

Keep the lights on!

Dear Kirstie.......

I watched your new show the other night. And, I wanted to tell you that I love your decorating style. Any chance you can tell me the color you used on your bedroom walls? And, oh, I really love your kitchen....I could definitely whip some heavenly meals in that place. OOOOH and those shoes you were tossing around when you were looking at dresses with your stylist--to die for...

Alright, enough of the small talk.....
Let me get right to the point....
Put down the cake for a moment, sweetie.
I want to tell you about my Lapband.
I promise you....this little convo won't hurt a bit.
I just have one teensy-eensy question:

Have you ever thought about getting a Lapband?

After I ooooh and aaah and jump up and down and tell you how
absolutely wonderful it is, I just want you to think about it.
No pressure here, girlfriend.
But, I'll bet my shiney new red danskos that once you hear about it, you'll want one of your very own.

Honey, I was just like you....well.... minus the mansion and the animals and the big boobs and the bigger big bank account and the stylists and the long hair and the handyman......
But, yeah, I went through all the diets---even Jenny Craig--and I lost all the weight....and gained it all back and then some....
Sure, I didn't have paparrazzi taking my pictures and taunting me with them on the covers of magazines.
But, hey--my brother-in-law took pictures of me on holidays and everyone in my family saw them.
So, yeah, I get it, girlfriend.
Obesity is no fun.
Constant dieting is no fun.
Gaining and losing and gaining and losing is no fun either.
No fun at all.

My Lapband made all the difference.
The *no fun* is over.

Being a mega star and all--I'm sure you can get a Lapband of your very own *just like that* (snapping my fingers).
And, I give you my solemn oath if do you get one, you can eat cake.
As much as you want.
As much as you want......Labbandstyle that is.......

Lots of Love,
Judi

P.S. there might be a reality show in it all
P.S.S. and just in case you need Lapbanders for your reality show--I'm your girl.....

The heart goes on......

even after it stops....
or breaks...


Yesterday, I got word that a blogger friend--Bethany--passed away from a massive heart attack on Friday night.

My heart is broken--for her family, for her friends and for all of us--for losing such a special, inspiring young woman.
Please join me in keeping her loved ones in your prayers.

Even though you don't know it--you know Bethany too.
Bethany has been one of my blog readers who regularly emailed me with questions, updates, observations and frustrations.
Many of my postings were inspired by Bethany's journey or by an email she sent me.
Bethany has been fighting obesity--trying to improve her health and waging a war on the health issues she faced.

Bethany was....

a young mother who loved her children and adored being a mother.
a young wife who cherished her life.
a gentle, compassionate, soulful woman who was trying to live the life she deserved.....

And, now, Bethany is.....
a woman who was called home by her saviour....where her struggles shall end and her blessed eternity shall begin.
The only pure-Bethany thing I can find some reason to smile about is the fact that she was called home while doing one of her favorite midnight pass times--shopping at Walmart. I don't know why-- but, at the moment--I find immense comfort in the fact that she was called home while doing that....


Please visit Bethany's blog and leave a word for her family.
Her blog shall live on.....something else to take comfort in.

And, the calendar says it's Spring........

which means it's time to Spring clean.....

Food beats out weather.......

as a topic of conversation.......


A few weeks back, we met a few friends for drinks at a quaint little local place.
Carmen is in love with their dirty martinis and I am ga-ga over their unique wine list.
That's why we suggested meeting at this particular little spot near our house--a hidden enclave behind a small stone-oven restaurant on the main drag of my little suburban hamlet-- the wine and martini bar behind Il Pizzaiolo on Washington Road.
Here's a recent description of the place:
This place is a cocoon made for cool nights. From the well-worn leather couch facing the fireplace to the backlit blue bar, this room is as suited for romantic couples as it is for a gaggle o'pals.



LET ME BE CLEAR--this particular outing at this quaint little place was all about boozing.
We were not meeting for dinner and we had no intention of having food.
This night out was all about having a few drinks.
FOOD WAS NOT INVOLVED.

Then, why is it that all we talked about was--FOOD?

An entire table filled with eight over-50- folks-- all of us talking over each other--about FOOD!

Honestly, with the kind of weather we had been having--it would have been perfectly understandable if we would have had snow stories or shoveling stories or driving-in-snow stories or being-snowed-in stories.....
Instead, we had FOOD STORIES.
Two solid hours, several martinis and many glasses of wine later---all we talked about was FOOD---recipes, cooking classes, restaurants, holiday meals, FoodTV, best meals.....
Oh, you name the food or the food event or anything food-related ......we talked about it.
No. No. No.
We didn't just talk about FOOD.....we had emotional, heart-to-heart, gut wrenching, secret-sharing, drop-to-your-knees discussions about FOOD!
We had just survived several historical snow storms.....yet all we could talk about was FOOD?

Yes, friends, this is my life.
But, I love it.
Food won't go away.....no matter how many drinks I consume!
(just like every other challenge or obstacle in life!)
That's why I love my Lapband.
That's why I need my Lapband.

All I want.....

is an umbrella in my drink.......

Onward!

Heading towards Spring........

and putting the Winter of 2010 in our memory banks.....


But, before I do that....I wanted to show you a few pictures.
Further proof that Judiland NEEDS SPRING......now!

Here's what we woke up to February 6, 2010--
the first of 3 major winter storms that blasted
my little suburban hamlet over a period of 2 weeks.

--This first picture was taken from my front porch looking across our street and down our lane. At this point, the municipality snow plows had not visited but a neighbor made a very narrow path on the side walk for any brave walkers



--This next picture is of our deck (the back yard, patio and detached garage in the background are barely visible). Because I could not get out the dining room doors (due to the snow) to take the picture, I snapped it from inside the glass doors.


after all of that.....it just kept on snowing and snowing and snowing and snowing......until we reached a grand total of 40+ inches for the shortest month of the year.....


The snow has finally melted.
I want to wear sandals......

Top of the Morning to You!!!!

Tis the day before St. Patrick's Day......

and all through the house......not a creature is stirring.....not even my spouse...



Yes, that's right friends, Judiland is empty and quiet once again.
Carmen is doing his usual death-defying, until-you-drop schedule.
The kids have returned to their posts at PhDland and Collegeland---doing what they are supposed to be doing.
And, I'm working on getting used to the tempo of life without life in the house.

Everyone is doing what they do---as they should be. As I want them to do.
And, I'm here--still trying to figure out what I am supposed to be doing.
I know, I know, I am becoming a broken record....
But, don't cry for me, blog friends.


Listen, I don't want anyone thinking I have nothing at all to do.....
Trust me, I have lists and lists of things that could take up lots and lots of time and I've got obligations and commitments that can definitely suck hours out of me--24/7....(and, many times those obligations and commitments do suck it all out of me!)

I'm pretty sure my issue is more about purpose than anything else.
But I don't want to talk about that right now.

The other day, I made a decision.
As I went through the emotional angst of knowing that the kids were headed back to their own little worlds, I decided that this year is my test year. Yes, I know, a little late in declaring this year would be my test year--especially considering that summer break for Toni is only 8 weeks away and I'll be back to having at least one child home for a few months. But, nonetheless, in between my irrational fear of not having a life after full-time motherhood and my panic over not having all the laundry done before the kids had to leave.....I acknowledged that I can no longer beat myself up and torture myself because I haven't fallen into a new rhythm of life or found a new purpose for myself. And, out of pure self-kindness and self-care, I made the test year idea retroactive back to September. And, one more thing--I also laid down the law with myself--because I have been in a test year since September.....all my stops and starts were just part of the test.
So, yes...you heard it here......I am going to stop beating myself up and torturing myself because I haven't fallen into a new rhythm of life or found a new purpose for myself.
I mean--what the hell do I expect?
I was doing the full-time mom thing for 25years.....it's going to take more than a few months to figure out how not to do it!
Right?
(readers: this the part of my blog where you agree with me)

In the meantime, as I'm going through this testing phase--I thought I'd take another look at how much my life has changed because of my weight loss and make a real effort to celebrate it and embrace it...... just a wee little bit more.
I'm not talking about standing up and cheering or taking a bow or sending up fireworks because I can fit into a Size 10 or 8......
No, I'm much deeper than that.....
What I am talking about is more of an academic exercise.....
With lists and stuff like that.....
An analysis.
A reflection.
Sounds very impressive....doesn't it?
Essentially, what I am talking about is taking a long hard look at where I came from, where I've been and where I'm going and how my life is changing......not because of my age or my empty nest status or my pants size.....but because of the fact that I am no longer obese.
And, with that thought in mind--I want to make a list of things that I can now do that I could not do before and wanted to do but did not do because of my weight or how I looked or how I felt.....
Did you follow that?
And, after I figure out what those things are.....I want to do them....assuming I really do want to do them.
Figuring out if I want to do them is another part of the process, I suppose.
(holy shit....this all sounds pretty complex....this might take awhile!)

First question:
Was my weight the only thing stopping me from being a cage dancer?

A historical look at the St. Patrick's Day Parade.....

also known as----

PARADING THROUGH THE POUNDS.....
in Judiland

2005
Here I am, waiting at the trolley stop....heading to the parade. This particular year, I had to run out at the last minute and get a green track suit---
I had outgrown my green duds from 2004.
Hmmm....I don't look too happy here...maybe the trolley was late?

2006
There I am, smack in the middle of my petite niece and my thinner, younger sister!
I had lost a few pounds that year, had finally fit into a size 18 pair of jeans and thought I could tuck my shirt in. What was I thinking?
BTW....note my amazing St. Pat's Day jacket.....
I wore it for the 2006 and 2007 St. Patrick's Day seasons...
it was a size 3x and I personally embellished it over a string of
3 very late nights of heavy duty creative crafting

2007
Here I am with our friend Kevin--closing out the night at the Saloon. At this point, I had made the decision to go Lapband and was slowly going through the pre-lapband process. I had to run out the night before to buy a new pair of jeans to wear--size 22......

NO PIX FROM 2008!
2008 parade day was interrupted by a case of pneumonia and bronchitis. Although I made it to the parade (of course!) in a pair of size 16 jeans, I was not in the picture-taking mood!
Plus, I'm pretty sure I was home in bed by 4 pm that day.....
partying on a mix of Theraflu and Vicks Vapo Rub will to it to you everytime!

2009
Parade day 2009 had me wearing a pair
of size 12 petite bright green jeans from Coldwater Creek!

check out Carmen....the 2 fisted green beer drinker....
gotta get the Irish in that Italian boy somehow!

2010
Did someone say Size 8 boyfriend jeans from New York and Company?

Through pants broad and narrow, I was wearing big ones and little ones, alive, alive oh!!!!!!!!!!!