It's Monday and I'm coming off a very busy but a very nice weekend. Now, I'm getting ready to jetset off for a quick work trip to Washington DC. As much as I'd love to say that I'll be able to sneak a little bit of enjoyment into the trip, the most I can probably hope for is a cold martini at the hotel bar. It's gonna be all work and no play. It's not the way I would prefer to usher out the summer. However, since I've known about it for awhile now, I've come to terms with the idea that I'll be closing out the summer with a work trip instead of a fun trip.
I could use a fun trip right about now.
Typically, each year during this week, Carmen and I are looking forward to a fun trip over Labor Day to the party islands. Sadly, this year it's not going to work out. Sometimes that's what happens--both of us have work obligations and other commitments that prevent us from doing it this year.
I'm missing that trip already.....
It feels like our vacation to the beach was a long, loooonnnnggg time ago.
My good vacation vibes have faded with my tan.....
Yes, I'm feeling a little bit sad about the fact that we aren't going to the party islands this year.
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| Last year's wonderful trip at one of our favorite places! |
Last night, I kept putting off packing for my DC trip. As I headed up the steps to get my suitcase, I had a few moments of panic. The attire for the activities on the trip is "professional casual". So, I planned to pack clothes that I haven't worn since the academic year was over in May. My summer office attire was more casual than "professional casual". I was worried that I wouldn't fit into anything! Between the happy hours and the parties and the entertaining and those few trips to Dairy Queen and all the other carefree summer behaviors I exhibited since May, I could feel the doubt creeping into my heart. It's a feeling that I don't like having. It reminds me of all of those years of misery I had to endure if I had to go somewhere where I was required to wear something specific---whether it was casual, dressy, professional or formal.....I never knew if I would fit into something I already had. It was a constant, terrible, punishing and debilitating feeling---beating away at me through all the pounds and through all the sizes.
Fat girl behavior never really goes away. As much as I try to suppress it, there are moments when it rears it's ugly, ugly head.
There's always that worry that if I misbehave, I will have to pay with my pants.
It always creeps in when I least expect it.....ugh.
Have no fear, I am not going to be trapesing around Washington DC in the wrong type of clothes.....
Everything fit just fine.
It's a good feeling.
But, that doesn't mean that I should throw caution to the wind when it comes to what I'm putting into my body. What it tells me is that my Lapband does give me the control that I need to help me maintain my weight and that my banded lifestyle over the past five years has served me well. It's a good wake up call---a reminder that I got this tool to help me and it is doing it's job. I have to respect it enough to do my job too.
See you in a few days.......
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