A pants story.......

Listen, if I told you everything that was going on in Judiland right now, you would not believe me anyway.

So, I figure I'll tell ya a story you might actually believe......

I bought a pair of pricey white capri pants.
I just had to have those pants.
They were just the perfect pair of white pants.
They fit just right, they had a little bit of stretch and they weren't too long or too short.  
Every time I wore then, I felt significantly more special
So, as far as I was concerned, they were worth every penny.
Plus, I had great faith that they were the product of perfect workmanship. 
Until one day.
One fateful day. 
The zipper on my perfect white capri pants somehow got stuck as I was frantically trying to remove them in the ladies room at work.....after drinking quite a bit of water. 
Yeah, that zipper was stuck good.
A woman's worse nightmare. 
As I frantically fought with the zipper, I tried to figure out a plan if I could not get my pants off.
How could I escape the building without people noticing a woman wearing drenched white capri pants running through the halls?
How could I sneak back into my office to get my purse and keys to my car so I could get the hell out of there?
What would I tell my office as to why I never returned?
WHAT THE HELL WAS I GOING TO DO?
Just then, I had a thought---maybe I could slide those pants off of me without pulling down the zipper....
Even though it seemed like a very unlikely possibility.....it was my last hope before....well.....you know.
So, I said a quick little prayer, did the sign of the cross and gave those white capris a little tug.
Ah....ah....yeah.....
OH YEAH!
Those babies came off!

Now I just love my white capris even more.
They are the perfectly fitting pants I don't have to unzip to put on and off (never got that zipper fixed!).....
Now, I'm living HAPPILY EVER AFTER in my white capris.....