Teaching an old dog some new tricks.......

At the age of 53 and after 30+ years on the job, I'm not too thrilled when the word TRAINING appears in my email.
Mandatory training I dislike the most.
You see, at this point of my life and my career, I consider myself trained quite enough, thank you.  
There are even times when I am pretty certain I am untrainable.   There might even be documented evidence of that.
Evidently, there are times when the powers-to-be say that I just gotta get trained......no matter what the situation is--whether I'm overtrained or untrainable or just plain not willing to be trained anymore.  
In this most recent case, I was told that if I ever want to figure out how to use our newly adopted online calendar (gee, what was wrong with the old calendar?)in order to do what I do, I gotta get my ass to training. Exchange Calendar training to be exact. 
Calendars really aren't all that exciting to me--to be honest.  Usually they are just filled with meetings, meetings and more meetings.  At least in my work life. 
I suppose there some good things about calendars---like vacation days and time out for pedicures and happy hours.
Even so....I heemed and haaed and girated and stomped my feet and made a few whines and whimpers and did my best to avoid it all.  And, I was doing pretty good....so far. 
Several weeks ago, when the mandatory training email came out, I didn't bother to open it. Hey, I'm a busy girl....I don't have time to read emails about things I don't want to do. 
I figured I'd just duck the training and somehow figure it out on my own.  Baptism by fire, I decided. Fly by the seat of my pants was going to be my method of doing what I needed to do.  And, if things got really bad  and I didn't know what the hell I was doing, I'd just start yelling across the hall to my coworkers and they would come and save me. 
Yeah, well.....my plan wasn't going to work.
I got another email.....of the or else variety. 
As much as  I tried to escape the inevitable, I was found out.  They knew the only way to get me to go was to either threaten me with bodily harm or worse. 
I was very concerned that the worse meant that they might take away the heater in my office that keeps my sandaled and well pedicured toes cozy.  A girl has gotta wear sandals in the summer....even if her office is 10 below zero.  
So, I opened the original email. 
Clearly, the powers-to-be don't know me too well.
All they had to tell me was that my friend Chris from Banded in the Burgh was going to do the training and they would have had me at HELLO. 
Like I said the other day---Lapbanders--they are are everywhere.
I'm going to training today.  Happily. 

Train me, Chris. 
 It's June.....I need to schedule a pedicure very soon.