What's it like?
Well, let me tell you what it's like on the OUTSIDE......
It's like this......
|February 2015....out to dinner in the neighborhood...with my cutie husband and my pretty Goddaughter Ashley....|
And, NOT like this......
|Day of surgery.....August 10, 2007....don't ask what I was doing....|
In the early days of Lapbanding, it was all about getting used to a new way of eating.
Yes, there was quite a bit of work involved in it all.
I had angst and frustration and even misery.
But, I always had hope.
THIS was going to be my last attempt at getting the life that I deserved.
Failure was not going to be an option. NOT. AN.OPTION.
Hope is what helped me through the angst and the frustration and even the misery.
Although there were always new obstacles to tackle, I was pushed to make it work by holding on to hope and determinedly staying the course.
I was not the perfect Lapbander.
But, I told myself that I wasn't on this journey to reach perfection. Just smaller pants.
There were pounds gained and moments when I ate nachos and ice cream.
But, I adopted a new way of thinking--I wasn't going to let those times stop me from where I was headed. I was going to pick myself up, wipe myself off and remind myself that it was a new day and a new chance to get it right. That new way of thinking was harder than I ever thought possible. Old habits are hard to break....
There were times when I felt tired and overwhelmed by needing to lose 100 pounds.
I would be knocked down and unmotivated and would feel tremendously sorry for myself.
Those were the times when the only thing that helped me was to connect with other Lapbanders or write a blog post. I needed tangible, living, breathing reminders of that I was not alone on my journey.
That is what I needed and who I was. I wasn't following a script.
There was no magic formula. There was no right way to do it.
There was just hard work....+ hope+determination.
I'm NOT saying there weren't rewards and payoffs along the way because there were! Lots of them.
REWARDS ARE NEEDED TO KEEP THE HOPE ALIVE!
I was so right to have HOPE!
And that same HOPE will sustain me.
Because I still need it.
Because..this journey has NO DESTINATION, IT DOES NOT END.
Even though I thought I got my Lapband to help me get the weight off , what I really need it is to keep the weight off.