BLINDsided by a PEPPER!

On Sunday morning.......this is what I was doing.....

Getting my hot peppers ready to stuff while the sweet peppers and zucchini waited their turn....

I was happily ensconced in my kitchen.
I had the food network on the TV.
I was sipping my tea.
All was good with the world.
Then, in an instant, my world went crazy.
With a brief touch of a finger to my eye......the sting of the "pepper residue" ignited a fierce and debilating burn in my eye.
It lasted all day.
And lingered a bit into Monday and Tuesday.
Today, it's only a terrible memory.
One I won't soon forget.....

No, that was not an excuse for why I didn't blog for a few days.
Sadly, it's the truth.

So, please, friends....if you are ever cleaning out hot peppers.....wear gloves and be sure to keep your fingers away from your face (and any other part of your body!).......

In better news--my stuffed peppers got rave reviews! 

Let's get ACADEMIC!!!!

If I wasn't a MOD (mother of a doctor) and if I hadn't spent more than half my life working in higher education at a major research institution, I would have no idea about the staggering amounts of research that is being conducted by very scholarly, super-smart folks on everything from the mating habits of the tsetse fly to the taxonomy of education to everything else in between.   If you are up for some kicks and giggles and have a huge chunk of time on your hands someday, take a gander at Google Scholar and put a topic in and you will be amazed at the number of articles that will come up related to that topic.  I can't guarantee you will understand all of what you read... I sure don't.... but you sure will be impressed by them all.  And, you will be mega impressed by how many authors with academic initials after their names are associated with each article.  It's humbling to imagine that there are so so many smart people who are willing to dedicate their lives to learning more and sharing what they learn on even the most benign and minor topics in hopes of making the world a better place to live and thrive.   Imagine spending your life dedicated to researching just a little spec of something with the dream of making that spec an integral piece of something that improves a major function of technology, health care, the environment, disease control, global safety.......and on and on and on.
I don't know about you but I can't thank these smarty pants enough......

 Ever since my 7 year Lap band appointment earlier this week when I learned that the research project I've been involved in hasn't been extended,  I've been a bit consumed by the thought that there hasn't been a good amount of research on the long term success and the long term effects of Lap band surgery.  All of a sudden, I'm wondering things that are very unJudilike.....things like.... what's it like to be a 80 year old Lap bander?    what if I want to eat pasta when I'm 92?  should I get a Lap band medic alert bracelet in case I inherit my family senile gene?  what if I gain 2 lbs a year and I live until I am 102 as planned.....?
 I am sure I will get over this stage of torturing myself with questions but until I do, I've been scouring the internet for whatever information might be out there....from reliable sources who seem to have strong credentials.   Although I am spending time doing this--to be completely honest.....I am someone who figures I will deal with whatever I have to deal with when I have to deal with it.  I've pretty much learned that sometimes no amount of planning or knowledge can stop fate.  But, I'm a pretty nebby girl.  And, if faced with spending my evening doing laundry or doing research on long term effects of my Lap band, I choose the later!  

Anyway, since I spent so much time on this project, I figured I would share 2 of  those articles that I actually read....A) Because I understood them and B) Because they weren't 345 pages long.  
And, if you don't feel like reading them...I will give you a brief snapshot of what they said....

 *Long-term outcomes after bariatric surgery: fifteen-year follow-up of adjustable gastric banding and a systematic review of the bariatric surgical literature, 2013
Basically, this research says that patients were able to maintain 47% of their weight loss after 15 years. 


*Researchers Say Weight Loss From Lap-Band Is Relatively Low; Critics Say Study Has Flaws, 2011
This study reports excess weight loss overall was 42.8% of excess weight after 12 years and 48% among those who still had their band at the end of follow-up. Greater than 50% is considered a good result, experts say. So, it's a below-average result.  Overall, 60.3% of patients were satisfied.


 After all of my research and reading and all of the contradictory information that's out there, I can pretty much tell you this--there's no definitive answer.  
A more practical person might find that hard to live with.  
I've never been accused of being practical.  
I figure success is up to me.  
It's in my hands.  
Perhaps I should write a paper, get it published and declare myself an expert.....

 
 

7 years later......what are the odds?

I am not a betting girl.
Sure, I'll go to the casino with my crumpled $50 bill and do a few slots but when I am not getting anything for my money, I realize I am just throwing my money into a machine!
How crazy is that?
I'm not good at waiting to hit....I'm way too impatient for that. 
So, I usually just head to the bar to get something for my money!
I order up a drink and settle in for some people watching.
Now, that's what I consider getting something for my money...... 

A Judi-style winning night at the casino!

As you know--this past Monday I had my 7 year Lap band appointment.  From day one of my Lap band journey, I have been involved in a clinical study of Lap Band patients.  Part of each appointment with my surgical team has also involved a bit of time with the researchers.   It's been a wonderful experience to be part of this project and it has afforded me quite a bit of information and assistance over the years. Plus....being the information junkie that I am--getting the inside scoop feeds my need to be in-the-know.
(to see more on the overall study....go here)
 Unfortunately, the National Institute for Health funding for the project was not renewed beyond this year.  Although they are hopeful to find other funding...they can't say what will happen going forward.  Naturally, they want to know the long term effects and successes of Lap Band patients. And, the only way to do that is through more research.   So, continuing to follow us would definitely be a wonderful way to be able to produce good documentation on the very long-term (lifetime!) effects of being banded.  Right now, their studies cannot produce solid statistics beyond the 8 year mark.  Now that I am at this point of my own journey---I would love to know that too!  When I got my Lap band, I was so focused on losing the weight and feeling better and improving my health and fitting into the fashions that I loved that I was  not exactly thinking too much beyond losing the weight and getting on with life being a thinner, healthier, happier person.
Did I wonder what Lap banded life would be like 10 years later?
Did I ever wonder if I would be able to keep this weight off forever and ever?
No.
And, NO.
Seven and half years ago, when I made the decision to have WLS, I was frustrated and miserable and desperate enough to place my faith in this new and exciting tool that promised to help me!
Did I think about it scientifically?
Did I weigh the pros and cons with good solid information?
No.
And, NO. 
 I just crossed my fingers and my toes and I told myself that I would make it work.
I had complete and utter confidence in the team at Magee Hospital.
My surgical team was highly regarded.  I felt safe in their hands.
And, I trusted that this was not some fly-by-night band aid to make money off of obese people.
And, most importantly, I didn't want to live the life of an obese person anymore!
I willed myself to believe that everything was going to be okay.
Even better than okay. 
I went into it hopeful. 
Thankfully, I was right.
My luck has held out for 7 years now....I've had major results with only minor issues. 
But, you know all of that....

As you also know--at my 7 year appointment--I was a little discouraged with my weight gain.  
The funny thing is.....no one else in the room was!
As a matter of fact, I was praised for not gaining that much weight.
Now, as much as I love to hear praise for my weight--I'm not used to hearing it for weight gain.  
The researchers knew I was stumped.
That's when they told me that I WAS A SUCCESS STORY.
That's what they consider me.  
Yes....me with my 12 pound weight gain was a SUCCESS STORY. 
It seemed quite backwards to me. 
Why weren't they counseling me and telling me I had to do better?
Sure they handed me information on this website and  we talked a little about incorporating weight lifting into my current exercise routine.  
But, beyond that, they were more interested in knowing how I was so successful....
They wanted ME to tell THEM about my lifestyle changes and habits that helped me to keep my weight off.  Even though I gained 12 pounds....
Before I left my appointment, a scholarly looking gentleman in a white lab coat came in to ask me a few more questions and to thank me for my participation over the past 7 years.  He shared his frustration and disappointment over the fact that the funding for the research was ending and he let me know that they are committed to identifying the long-term success rates of Lap band patients.....saying that they just don't know much beyond 5-7 years because they don't have the solid data to formulate dependable findings.
And, he also wanted to congratulate me on my SUCCESS.
HE SAID I WAS A SUCCESS BECAUSE I PUT SIGNIFICANTLY LESS WEIGHT ON THAN THE STATISTICS SHOW FOR SOMEONE 7 YEARS OUT.  

My head was still spinning a bit when I left my appointment.
I wasn't too happy about the 12 pound weight gain.   But, I already told you that.
Initially, I didn't think much about all of the kudos I got to for only gaining 12 pounds.
Vain girl that I am--I was too busy looking at my bulging belly and worrying about what my bathing suit might look like on the beach.

After hours of rehashing the appointment in my head, I found myself at a very interesting place....I was fearful.  
Fearful that maybe my Lap band might not be the lifelong tool that I needed to help me maintain my weight loss forever.  
And, fearful that maybe this 12 pound weight gain was just the beginning of my decent back into obesity....
Was this the beginning of the end?

I thought about a few friends who also got their Lap bands and didn't have the success they hoped for....some of them gave up, others never gave up and decided on another WLS to help them.
I thought about all those "failure posts" on those Lapband forums that I used to read religiously.
I thought about all the Lap band bloggers that have come and gone.   
I thought about my cousin who wanted the same success as me and who I coached into going to my surgeon and getting the Lap band and who lost 75 pounds....only to regain them all...and then some.   And, now, each time we see each other--I can sense his shame and embarrassment...which makes me so, so sad. 
And, I thought about all those people who were naysayers in the beginning of my journey who questioned me and judged my choice and told me horror stories about other people who had WLS.
Then, I did the unthinkable....I GOOGLED Lap band statistics...

The odds are not in my favor....

Then, I remembered......I am not a betting girl.  

Onward!








 

SEVEN YEAR ITCH or LUCKY SEVEN???

 Seven years ago this week, I started this blog....

Seven years ago this week, I had my LapBand surgery.

Seven years ago this week.....my life changed. 

Year 1

Year 2

Year 3

Year 4

Year 5

Year 6

Happy Bandiversary and Happy Blogiversary to ME! 

It's a bittersweet celebration....

It's a little bit PITY PARTY and little bit PARTY PARTY.....

This past Monday, I had my 7 year Lap Band check up with my surgeon and her great team.
As their gift to me....they walked me through the past 7 years. 
WITH A BIG CHART......A VERY BIG CHART..... projected on a very BIG wall....

Regardless that it was jam packed with successes, inspiration and helpful information--in the end...the only thing I heard was....you gained 12 pounds.

PITY PARTY!!!!!

It's taken me a little shy of 48 hours to digest that appointment....thinking it through and trying to learn from it. 
And, most importantly.....finding a way to go forward from here.....

Bruce can always be counted on to capture how I am feeling and what I am thinking....

My 7 year appointment was a reminder call.
Simple as that.  
It was a huge reminder that my journey never ends and that my Lapband is my very own personal tool to keep me on the road.  My Lapband was here when I was 48, it's here when I am 55 and it shall be with me on every road that life takes me on.  It was a gift I gave myself forever....and EVER.   
I must respect the gift and myself and my hard work by continuing to do  the hard work that it takes to make sure that my precious gift keeps on giving.........

My 12 pound weight gain over these past 5 years (since I lost the initial weight) was  the bitter part of that call and the path of discovery that it led me on these past 48 hours was the sweet part of it.....

When I was able to process the entire appointment as it relates to my entire journey...I realized..... 
Yes, there was more to it than just those 12 pounds.....

 

I had to step back to see the big picture.....

The progression of my weight gain was rather telling as it relates to more things than just the number on the scale.
The fact that I gained the weight put me into a mode of analyzing everything from where I was in my life at certain points  to where I am today...7 years later. 
The number on the scale at my appointments was only part of the journey. 
That number doesn't tell the behind-the-scenes story......  
It doesn't tell about the minor weight gains and weight losses in between appointments.  Nor does it mention holidays or vacations when temptation raged on and I was able to avoid pitfalls that once derailed me.   And, it didn't nod to those stressful times when I walked through the fire and came out the other end without eating 2 pounds of pasta.  My triumphs were hidden in between those weigh-ins.....just like my heartbreaks were tucked inside there too. 
Those moments of recorded weight at my appointments did not tell the story. 
But, part of the story that it tells me today is worth it's weight in gold. 
It tells me what I knew all along.....this blog....this little blog that I started way back in 2007...is so deeply, deeply connected to my Lap Band success....

Here.....let me prove it to you....

• 2009 marked the year that my weight was consistently going down in small, healthy increments.
• 2010 marked the year that I was at my lowest weight.
•  I was able to maintain that weight throughout 2010.  
• 2009 and 2010 mark the highest number of blog entries throughout my 7 years of blogging. 
• In 2011,when the weight gain began...albeit not much....my blog entries curtailed a bit (2 pounds). 
• In 2012, when there was a bit more of a weight gain....my blog entries dropped off even more(4 pounds). 
• In 2013...when my blog entries upped a bit....the weight gain was very low (1.5 pounds).  
• Now, in 2014...when my blogging is dwindling,I have had the most significant weight gain (4.5 pounds). 

Do you see the correlation?
Well, I sure do.  
I am someone who needs to stay accountable and who needs to focus on a path.
When I don't do it.....it shows.
My little daliences away from Stories from the Road reared it's ugly head on the scale. 
Conversely-- my commitment to doing daily entries kept me focused and empowered.
The proof is right there.  
From the way I see it--the fix is not all that hard. 
Blog more=Maintain my weight. 
Easy.
PARTY PARTY!!!!  

Thank you for sharing my Stories from the Road.....

And, I hope that each time you leave here, you leave with 

a little bit more than when you came.

For my next entry.....I will share more of my 7-year Lap band appointment thoughts.....!!!